


Daffodils of Spring

by DuskyDancing



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coughing, F/M, Friendship, Hanahaki Disease, Memory Alteration, Minor Kairi/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Pining, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Sea Salt Family (Kingdom Hearts), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25730962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DuskyDancing/pseuds/DuskyDancing
Summary: Naminé gains a new life, a new heart, and all of the complicated emotions that come along with it. While discovering her identity and finding how she can help those who helped her, a new Keyblade master becomes a constant in both. Soon enough, he also becomes the source of a strange sensation within her chest.
Relationships: Naminé/Riku (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 59
Kudos: 86





	1. Chapter 1

A voice beckoned to Naminé, calling out her name, and she pried her eyes open. The sensation of floating gently engulfed her, but nothing but darkness greeted her vision. The voice called her name once more, and she swore she could recognize it. Suddenly, a pinpoint of light opened far in the distance.

"Naminé, It's time to wake up."

"To live the life you deserve." A second voice joined the first.

She blinked and repeated back, "Wake...up?"

From the light, two distinct hands reached out towards her, and the memories all came flooding back to her at once. Though she couldn't see their faces, she knew who those hands belonged to.

"Kairi, Sora," she smiled.

"Let's take you home," said the voice that Naminé now knew to be Kairi's.

Both hands outstretched towards her graciously, and she couldn't help but accept their invitation. Touching her palms to each of theirs, they then pulled her towards the light. The sensation of floating disappeared, for now she was rising, being ushered rapidly towards the surface of a deep ocean. The light grew brighter, a sudden warmth filled her chest, and her eyes were forced shut by the brilliance of it all.

When she opened her eyes again, her hands were empty at her side, but a blinding light still glowed behind her eyelids.

She blinked to adjust her focus. However, instead of being greeted by Sora's beaming smile and Kairi's kind eyes, she awoke to the equally surprised faces of Vexen and Ienzo. They donned more traditional lab coats instead of the Organization's black leather, but that didn't stop the panic from setting in.

Attempts to scurry back were blocked by her bed that propped her up at an angle. Her gaze hurriedly turned back to her welcome party.

"Oh no," Zexion's expression fell from excitement to concern. "I suppose we didn't fully think this through, did we? Should've picked friendlier faces to greet you with, huh?" He actually smiled bashfully underneath his long silver bangs. She'd never seen such an expression cross the boy's face with her own eyes before.

He set aside the tablet he'd been holding and approached her with his hands forward. "Naminé. We. Are. Friends." He spoke slowly and gestured to his chest, before Vexen bopped the back of the boy's head. "Ow!"

"She's not an alien, Ienzo. She can still understand you!"

_Ienzo_? A quick word scramble in her head explained the new expressiveness from the men before her. Naminé couldn't help but giggle at the display.

"Hey, a laugh!" Zex-Ienzo smiled again. "That's a good sign, right?"

"Ienzo..." Naminé confirmed before turning to the other scientist. "And what do I call you now?"

The man was frozen for a moment, but soon stepped forward and bowed. "Even, milady."

She repeated his name back as well, then took in the bright laboratory. As her senses returned, she found the strength to sit and dangle her legs over the edge.

"We're in the castle at Radiant Garden," Even said, "if that's any comfort."

It was, in a way, so long as she was anywhere but Castle Oblivion or the old mansion.

"How are you feeling?" Ienzo asked.

"A little dizzy, but otherwise…" she searched her mind, only to find a scramble of sensations she'd never experienced before. "There are many thoughts."

"That's normal," Even assured her.

Ienzo nodded. "Your heart is fully processing emotions for the first time. Just try to take it easy and not get overwhelmed."

Naminé suddenly remembered the two people who helped pull her into existence. Glancing around the small room, she asked, "Where are Sora and Kairi?"

The men's faces suddenly fell. Vexen spoke first. "Well, you see, Sora and Kairi are missing. Have been since the fight with old man Xehanort."

"Missing?" she asked. "But I just saw them. They helped me wake up."

Both men looked to each other before Ienzo scribbled notes into a pad of paper. "I see," Ienzo said, "well, there's just a few more quest-"

A deep, familiar voice interrupted them from just outside the door. "Even, Ienzo, any progress?"

No, not just a familiar voice, a voice that had dictated her life for a year, called her horrible things, scorned Roxas and obsessed over revenge. A voice that belonged to DiZ.

The sensations in Naminé's mind only got worse. Her heartbeat quickened, and breathing became more difficult. Both of her companions' eyes blew wide, and Even rushed to the door. Watching them panic only amplified each thought in her mind.

"Uh, now's really not a great time," he pleaded nervously.

"Naminé, look back at me," Ienzo called to her, and she listened. Despite the shake in his voice, his expression was still soft. "Take a deep breath. You're safe, okay?"

She nodded silently and did as he asked, but not a moment later was the door opened anyways. The man who stepped in was not the DiZ she remembered. A head wrapped in cloth had been replaced with a clean, unobscured face and long blonde hair flowing down his neck. Where there had been dark robes and a red cape, there was now a white lab coat, more decorated than the others' with a scarf draping loosely over his shoulders. He resembled almost an entirely different person, but she remembered those eyes well.

Now, when that orange gaze found her, they weren't narrow and cold. They were wide with surprise and...soft?

"Naminé," his deep voice uttered her name in that unique way he always had, emphasizing a long 'e' in the middle of her name instead of a short one.

She opened her mouth to speak, but found her throat completely dry. She'd forgotten the advice to breathe amidst her panic, and Even and Ienzo intervened.

"She just woke up a minute ago."

"We were about to go tell you."

But before any more words could be spoken, their voices faded, and Naminé's vision went dark.

* * *

She came back slowly, with Ienzo's friendly voice encouraging her returning consciousness. Her environment hadn't changed, but DiZ - no, she recalled he went by Ansem again - was gone.

"Are you alright?" the young scientist asked.

"Yes, I think so," she rubbed her head. "Sorry for fainting."

"Don't be," Even said. "We should've been better prepared. Let's say we try that again, shall we? No interruptions this time, we promise."

Naminé smiled and nodded. "I'd like that."

They proceeded to ask her a multitude of questions about her memories, her emotions, and what words she associated with each memory. Some were more difficult to answer than others. While her time with Kairi only brought up feelings of sisterhood and harmony, she couldn't just name one emotion for her time in the mansion of Twilight Town. Of course, thoughts of Ansem brought up the words "trapped" and "helpless", but she couldn't say she felt the same whenever the mansion's third resident was around.

So they narrowed it down and asked her how she'd felt around Riku. "Not alone," was the first phrase out of her mouth. "Understood, comforting from a distance."

Their questioning went on for what felt like hours, but Naminé didn't find the experience tiring at all. If anything, she felt eager to share each new emotion that swelled within her heart, both the good and the bad. And if she couldn't find an answer, they just made a note and moved on.

Suddenly, a device on Ienzo's clipboard buzzed. If her hazy memories while within Kairi were reliable, this was a device they'd used to communicate with one another. A gummiphone, they'd called it.

Ienzo's eyes lit up as he scrolled through the device. "Good news, Naminé, you're free to go."

"I-I am?" she asked. "But where will I go?"

"That's up to you," he smiled, "but I just received word that a friend will be here shortly to help you."

"A friend…" she repeated. How many friends had she made during her short existence? Did anyone in the old Organization consider her one? Would Roxas?

"Plus, you deserve some time away from a lab or an exam room for once," Even gestured for her to stand. "Come, I'll walk you out of the castle."

He led her to the main entry hall and no further. When she went to push the doors open, she found little resistance as two familiar guards opened them from the outside. By then, she knew most of the old Organization had returned to their former selves, so she greeted the new Lexaeus and Xaldin with a nod and a smile.

They returned the expression and gestured ahead, down the stairs to the open courtyard. The more her eyes adjusted to bright sunlight, the more beautiful Radiant Garden appeared. The colors of the rooftops were warm and welcoming, the surge of water fountains and the distant rising falls rocked her as she descended the stairs, and the sweet scent of flowers greeted her nose with the gentle breeze.

When she approached the open, empty courtyard, she wondered who had been so thoughtful to come and see her. Even was right. How long had it been since she'd been able to truly exist freely outside of some kind of lab or imprisonment?

The rushing water was soon drowned out by the roar of an engine above her head. Her eyes followed the sound while her hand blocked out the bright sun. What descended was a brightly colored gummi ship, the one she knew Sora, Donald, and Goofy had used during their adventures.

But if Sora was missing, then who was piloting it?

A young man who wasn't Sora emerged from around the side, but the sight made her new heart flutter all the same. His silver hair was shorter, revealing more of his face and his aquamarine eyes. He walked toward her with purpose, and a small smile ticked at his mouth.

Riku came back for her.

The swell of emotions lurched her legs towards him, but she stopped short a few feet. She was unsure of what to do with this many emotions and hesitated. Luckily, he gave her an answer as he wordlessly extended an open hand towards her. His appearance wasn't all that had changed, for his eyes were free of any remorse or self-judgment.

What else could she do but meet him halfway? All-too-easily, she stepped forward and placed her hand within his.

"Welcome back, Naminé."

* * *

Riku, it turned out, wasn't the only friend who'd come to greet her, for the moment he opened the ramp to board the gummi ship, she was met with seven more familiar faces: Roxas, Xion, Axel, Saix, Hayner, Pence, and Olette.

All but Saix had been pressed up against the window facing where Riku had greeted her, but quickly scattered the moment the hatch lowered. Naminé suddenly became very aware of the fact that her hand still rested within Riku's as he'd guided her to the ship. Swiftly, she retracted her hand, and Riku crossed his arms at the group.

"What? We weren't spying!" Axel threw his hands up.

"They were spying," Saix said from the corner with a lowered head and a suppressed smile. Of all the people aboard, he was the most surprising to see, but if Xion was willing to be in the same room with him, then that had to mean something, right?

But maybe she'd thought too soon, for Xion griped, "Hey, you know what they say about snitches."

However, all bickering ceased the moment Naminé stepped out from behind Riku's tall form.

"Naminé!" Roxas shouted.

He pushed past all the others and enveloped her in an unexpected hug. Xion quickly followed, squeezing her other side, before Axel came and lifted all three of them off the ground. It was so much all at once. Naminé wasn't even sure she remembered the last time someone had hugged her. She couldn't help the giggle that escaped from her when they finally released her.

"Um, hello everyone," she said with folded hands.

Roxas gestured back to the trio of friends behind him. "Time for you to officially meet Hayner, Pence, and Olette."

She opened her mouth to greet them, but Pence approached her first. "Hey." he eyed her closely and tapped his chin. "I know you! You were that girl from the window of the mansion! No one else would believe me, I can't believe you're real!"

Naminé giggled again. "Yep, that was me."

Olette jabbed his shoulder. "Pence, don't be rude." She turned and gave Naminé a warm smile. "It's nice to finally meet you, Naminé."

"Hayner," the brown-eyed boy waved from his seat, one of only three in the whole gummi ship.

Naminé returned the wave and stepped inside.

"And what name do you prefer now?" she asked the blue-haired man. He reluctantly met her eyes, and she could recognize that look of hesitance anywhere, like he was trying to ascertain whether or not she hated him. She only knew because she herself had given that same look.

Before he could answer, Axel jumped in and slung an arm around his shoulder. "He goes by Isa! You can still call me Axel, though."

Isa's face turned pink, and he wrestled the redhead off of him. "Call me whatever you like."

Naminé smiled, "Isa it is, then."

Riku cleared his throat from the driver's seat at the front of the ship. "If no one objects, I'd like to get us to Destiny Islands before the sun goes down."

Naminé glanced around the ship for a place to settle down. Space would be tight, to say the least, and there were fewer seats than there were people. Riku needed one to drive, and Hayner had already claimed one of the others, which only left one more empty.

"Is this safe?"

"Normally no," Riku answered, "but the pathways between worlds have been cleared of Heartless, so it's atleast a smooth ride." The answer was good enough, so Naminé moved to sit at the back of the ship with the others. Until Riku interrupted her. "You get a chair."

She stopped and gauged everyone's faces. No one objected, and Roxas even gestured forward to the seat. So she retraced her steps and strapped herself in. "Lead the way, Riku."

* * *

Naminé had seen the white beaches of Destiny Islands through Kairi's eyes before, but it was a completely different experience to feel the sand beneath her very own feet.

"Take your sandals off," Riku said. "It'll be easier to walk."

Sure enough, Roxas, Hayner, Pence, and Olette had all thrown off their shoes before stepping off the ship. She followed suit, and her feet immediately sank a couple of inches into the squishy soft sand. A laugh escaped her as she wiggled her toes in the sand.

"Come on!" Xion pulled her along by the hand and ran along the gentle tides.

Terra, Aqua, and Ventus were already waiting for them on the beach, with sandcastles already halfway finished. Donald, Goofy, and King Mickey arrived shortly after and quickly started a sandcastle-building competition.

Naminé turned to Xion. "What's all this for?"

"We all needed a little vacation, a fresh start. As soon as Riku heard you were awake, we all knew it was the perfect time to get everyone together."

"But Sora and Kairi…" her new heart sank remembering them. There was no doubt in her mind that they'd been the ones to wake her, but she could only hope that they'd make it back home as well.

Xion shared her unfinished sentiment. "Me too, but they'll be okay."

The evening of Naminé's first real vacation came all too quickly. While running, shouting, frisbee-throwing, and playful banter played out behind her, she'd been drawn to the water. Xion had felt the same, so they dipped their feet in, mindful to keep the water from reaching their skirts. They waded through the shallow shores, and she showed Naminé where she'd collected seashells for Roxas so long ago.

Suddenly, the beach became quiet. Naminé turned to find that all the action had stopped, as everyone stared towards the smaller island.

When she followed their gaze, her breath hitched. There, out of thin air, Sora and Kairi appeared sitting on the paopu tree. No words spoken between them could be interpreted, but their eyes were only on each other with tender affection. Naminé stood and stepped forward, hesitant to go any further and intrude on the moment.

_I knew I felt them._

A smile sat plastered on Naminé's face until the sun disappeared over the horizon, along with Sora's fading form. Kairi remained whole, alone, but her expression fell. Her knees landed in the sand beneath the tree, out of sight from where Naminé stood. Sorrow lurched Naminé's heart too many times to count, and her first day wasn't even over.

It had all happened so suddenly, and before she knew it Riku was running across the wooden bridge to her.

* * *

Emotions, Naminé realized, were like sitting attached to a spinning wheel, with a peak and a base. The transition between a high point and a low point could feel slow, and other times it occurred too quickly to process. And once in a while, no matter what happened, a high point for one person meant a low point for another.

In that case, the joy of Naminé regaining her heart coincided with the tragedy of Kairi and Sora's limited time together.

"I thought we'd have more time," Kairi had cried. "I didn't think fate would be this cruel."

Their kindness in helping Naminé and many others during their precious time stung heavily, but Kairi never implied that she wished they'd spent it differently. When Naminé met her with an embrace, Kairi clung to her former Nobody like she feared she'd slip away too. Naminé had hoped that her first embrace with the girl who'd kept her safe would have been a happy one, but even through the tears, Kairi held a look of stubborn determination - a look that Riku shared in his own way.

"We'll bring him back," Riku said, and the two old friends would've been ready to depart that instant if it weren't for Aqua.

"Kairi, you're exhausted, in more ways than one." The mage held her shoulders gently. "You need rest. I promise we'll do everything we can in the morning."

Mickey echoed the sentiment, and slowly every head present nodded in agreement.

So they set up camp on the beach that night like they'd planned, but the evening was somber. Groups huddled together protectively, positioning themselves as if sleeping close would prevent losing one another to fate. Terra and Aqua linked their arms over Ventus, who slept between them. Axel did the same over Roxas and Xion, and even the touch-averse Isa lay close by on the other side of the group, facing inward.

Naminé couldn't bring herself to leave Kairi's side, so she remained there for the night. She lay on her back and silently mapped out the night sky, taking in the vast beauty for the first time until the breathing beside her steadied. When she glanced to her side to make sure Kairi had fallen asleep, she caught Riku's gaze from her other side.

A familiar sadness had returned to his eyes, and she already missed their gleam when he'd first found her in Radiant Garden. A small smile pulled at him before he mouthed a silent 'Thank you.'

She had no clue what he was thanking her for, but she returned his smile and simply nodded before turning over to sleep. As she drifted off, a prickling sensation caught in the back of her throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The canon KH3 ending except after Riku takes Naminé's hand, the camera pans up to the gummi ship, where several...inquisitive...faces are pressed flat into one side of the glass dome.*
> 
> Thank you for reading! I wrote a Rikunami one-shot kiss prompt a few months ago, and I've been craving more content of these two ever since. This is a Hanahaki AU I promise, haha. I just wanted to get some setup done first before the ~good~ stuff happened. I hope you enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you sure you don't want to stay, Naminé?"

It was difficult to say no to Roxas, especially when he brought out his sad eyes, but still…

"I could get you a job at the bistro," Olette said.

Xion chimed in as well. "And there are plenty of empty apartments in Twilight Town still."

Axel tapped his head. "Guaranteed ice cream everyday."

Naminé giggled and folded her hands. "I'm sorry but," she paused and glanced back at the gummi ship where Riku and Kairi were waiting, "I can't settle down until Sora's back. To help the most, I think I'm needed in Radiant Garden for now."

Xion approached and clasped her own hands over Naminé's. "The offer always stands."

Naminé nodded with a smile. Their understanding took most of the burden of leaving off of her shoulders. It wasn't like the pathways between worlds were closing. She'd only be a gummi ship ride away from them all.

Pence laughed and scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Hey, if anything, you can always stay in the old mansion again."

Naminé tensed, and Roxas quickly slapped the back of the boy's head.

"That might not be the...best idea," Naminé said.

"Right, sorry." Pence backed away, but she made sure to reassure him with a smile and a nod.

Roxas looked to her with concern. "Be safe. Don't let them run any weird experiments, okay?"

"I won't," she giggled. Having Riku and Kairi go to Radiant Garden alongside her eased that anxiety. As long as she wasn't alone, she'd be fine.

But whenever she thought of joining them, that strange tickling sensation returned to the back of her throat. Despite the several attempts to clear her throat, it never fully went away, and she wondered if it was just a consequence of getting a new heart. Luckily, Radiant Garden had one of the greatest healers, so she could just go to Aerith if it persisted.

She kept her goodbyes brief and was back on the ship before she knew it. The vessel was definitely more spacious with seven fewer people on board, and now there were enough seats for everyone.

The solemn atmosphere lingered throughout the journey home. When Riku called Ienzo, the scientist could tell something was wrong just by the drop in his voice and his forlorn expression. Riku assured that the details would be given in person, but Naminé sensed a part of him that wasn't ready to address it yet. Kairi kept spirits high by recalling her and Sora's time together - how invigorated she felt during their fight with Xehanort, and the dreamy sense of finally getting to see the worlds together. Riku responded in kind, reminiscing on their time in the dream worlds.

Soon enough, they landed in the same place they'd departed from. The sun was still new in the Radiant Garden sky. As Even led them into the castle, Naminé hesitated.

"Will... _he_ be there again?" she asked.

Riku and Kairi turned to her inquisitively, but Even shook his head in understanding. "No, Naminé, he won't."

Naminé took that as the only answer she needed and proceeded forward. As she passed Riku, she briefly met his gaze, and it didn't take long for the realization to cross his face. She wondered if he'd held any similar hesitations, but his bravery had probably allowed him to overcome them more quickly.

Maybe one day she'd be ready.

It felt strange being back in the very same lab where she'd first awoken, as much as the presence of Riku and Kairi helped. Atleast she wasn't the only one being bombarded with questions and strange devices.

"I want to help," Naminé said, "but I don't know if I can still connect to Sora's memories."

"We did detect a faint magical source within you during your first visit, Naminé," Ienzo said. "Perhaps it just needs to be reawakened."

Naminé closed her eyes and searched for the power within herself. Before, it had been as easy as seeing the memory chains themselves, like they were a sixth sense of hers. Now, however, all she felt was the darkness behind her closed eyelids.

"How would she do that?" Kairi asked.

Even stepped in. "You could try revisiting places that are significant to your own memories…"

Naminé stiffened. The whole reason she'd avoided Twilight Town and the Land of Departure might actually be the key to helping Sora. She just didn't know if she could bear it yet…

"The mansion in Twilight Town still has my sketchbook," she said. "At the very least, I could...try to retrieve it."

"Are you sure, Naminé?" Ienzo asked.

"No," she smiled shyly, "but if I could regain my powers to help Sora, it's worth trying."

Kairi put her hands on Naminé's shoulders. "You've always been so brave, Naminé, but please don't do anything you're not ready for."

Naminé smiled. "Sora would've done the same. I have to try."

"Then I'll take you." Riku spoke up suddenly.

Her eyes widened with surprise. She wanted to ask him why, but instead she asked, "Are you sure? Finding other ways to help Sora might be more important."

"This _is_ helping Sora," he said. "The three of us will come up with more once we're back."

"Anything helps." Kairi nodded. "I can look into my past here for answers."

Naminé glanced away from the worrying eyes on her. The thought of more travel, not to mention where she'd be going, sounded exhausting, but getting one-on-one time with Riku again didn't sound so bad. And maybe the annoying sensation in her throat would disappear by the time they returned.

So with heavy hearts, Naminé and Riku set off the next morning for Twilight Town. To visit the very place that had kept her away.

When they landed, they went straight to the mansion. Downtime could come afterwards. If it wasn't for the place they were visiting, the stroll through the woods on its own would've been quite pleasant. Leaves crunched underneath her sandals as they made their way through the woods. The canopy of trees blocked out most sunlight, but splotches of golden light peppered the forest floor and provided a warm ambience to their excursion.

Atleast until the mansion gate obstructed her view. The structure actually blended in with its surroundings beautifully, but memories from the past were louder in her head than the scenery of the present.

"Are you sure you're ready for this, Naminé?"

Riku stared back at her from the open gate to the abandoned mansion. She clasped her hands in front of her chest, wishing she had her sketchbook to hide behind. Her foot inched forward hesitantly before retreating back to where she'd started.

She cleared her throat, took a deep breath, and nodded. "Yes. I need to do this."

She walked alongside him until they reached the door. He opened it easily enough with Braveheart, yet her own mind kept her feet from moving forward once more.

He turned around, sensing her hesitancy. "It's okay." His hand extended to her all-too familiarly. "You're safe."

Safe.

She was safe.

Her hand found his comfortably, and she followed the gentle pull into the foyer.

It hadn't been _that_ long since she'd been in the mansion, so she didn't know why she expected it to be more run down. The interior was still dusty and partially destroyed, but no differently than she remembered.

"Where should we start?" She asked.

"Wherever your heart leads you."

Her heart. It was strange to even think that she had one of her own now. According to some, she'd had one all along. A heart that DiZ had constantly reminded her didn't exist. She could practically hear his voice now, echoing in every room of the mansion.

_A Nobody cannot have a heart._

She must have made a noise, because Riku turned to her with concern. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, no," she fought back tears at the memories. They hurt so much more now. "DiZ told me…"

"DiZ was wrong," Riku wouldn't even let her finish her sentence. "Remember that whenever his voice pesters you."

She nodded and summoned her courage to proceed forward. Her eyes glanced towards the white room, and before she knew it, she came face to face with the white door. It had been left closed as always.

"I'll go in alone," she said.

Riku didn't protest and merely nodded. "Remember, I'm right outside, 'kay?"

Naminé took a deep breath before pushing one of the double doors open. The room looked nearly identical to the way she'd left it, with her sketches strewn about the table and walls. No internal light had ever been needed within, for the sunlight reflecting off of the white curtains, walls, and furniture had always been bright enough.

She jumped when the door closed on its own behind her.

_I'm safe,_ she repeated to herself.

She quickly found her sketchbook and pencil on the table and retrieved them. She got what she came for, but the voice in her mind told her it wasn't time to leave yet. So her eyes travelled along the table, up the walls, to each drawing she'd made while piecing Sora's memories back together. A new voice joined the reassuring one in her mind.

_A Nobody cannot feel anything._

Kairi held a large paopu fruit in one of Naminé's earliest drawings. Even then, Naminé knew what the fruit meant. She'd felt it by proxy.

_A Nobody cannot exist._

In another, Roxas and Axel stood side by side against the Organization. They existed. They still do.

_You are only deceiving yourself and everyone around you._

With blurred vision, a drawing of Naminé standing between Sora and Riku's replica came into view. She'd deceived both of them, yes, but it had never been her choice. She'd felt pain for them too. Sorrow. Regret. What were all of those, if not emotions?

"You're wrong!" she yelled and tore the pages from the walls. Her eyes closed as tears began to gather within them. All the shaking and begging wouldn't make the memories leave. Pain surged in her throat with every gasp, like a lump had formed in the very center.

Suddenly, a hand on her shoulder was pulling her from the wall.

"Naminé!" Riku's voice beckoned her back to reality, "You're safe. It's just us."

She peeled her eyes open, and through the blurry tears caught him standing before her with both hands on her shoulders.

"Riku, he-" she choked out. "He said so many horrible things to me."

His face softened. "I know."

"And I believed him."

"...Yeah."

"And I- I repeated the same things to Roxas." She ducked her head. "I thought I was doing the right thing by being honest, but all I did was spread the lie that I was fed."

After a few moments of silence, a gentle tug pulled her forward, and her head collided with his chest. Warmth she'd never felt before engulfed her.

She'd felt a hug already, and a group hug at that, but this was new.

It worked wonders, though the stiffness of his posture told her he hadn't given out many of these. She reached around and grasped at the back of his jacket. He was so much taller than her that he nearly encased her entire body. His arms held her close enough that she could barely speak, but still loose enough for her to breathe and break free if she wanted.

"Thank you," she muttered.

"I'm sorry Naminé," he said. "For letting that happen to you."

She reluctantly left the warmth of the embrace and pushed herself back. "It wasn't your fault, Riku. You weren't always there."

"No, but I should've - I don't know." He glanced away. "Said something? Intervened somehow? Anything would've been better than sulking in my own problems."

"I doubt DiZ would've listened to reason anyways." She folded her hands and smiled.

"You're not wrong there." He met her with a smirk. "Come on, we've got the rest of the mansion to see, if you're ready."

For the first time that day, she felt sure of herself when she answered, "More than ever."

Soon enough, they both stood in another bright white room, only this one lay beneath the mansion. Though it was significantly larger than the room that had been Naminé's home for a year, it seemed much emptier, especially now that the large pod in the center of the room itself was vacant. It stared down at both of them.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

She approached the pod and ran her hand up its smooth sides. "Still angry, but better. More peaceful."

"I can give you time to yourself...if you need."

She turned, fearful that he'd leave her alone right then. When he remained in place, she sighed in relief. "You're okay, Riku," she smiled. "Believe it or not, your presence brought me comfort back then."

"Oh," he said. "Really?"

"Of course. We shared the same goal, did we not? To save Sora?"

Riku laughed and scratched his head. "I guess times haven't changed that much, huh?"

He was right. Sora was in trouble again and needed their help. Only now his body wasn't safe and comfortable in a pod, and no one knew where any part of him had gone.

"Let's just hope that this time around, no one will have to wear any blindfolds."

Riku sighed and turned away, hiding his face behind his hand. Naminé giggled and circled around. "Hey, come on, I'm just joking. You pulled it off."

He shook his head and chuckled. "Hey, do you remember our first conversation in this room?"

"Of course," she said. "You chose to keep your memories of Castle Oblivion, of Ansem and the Darkness in your heart."

He continued, "I know I made the right decision, even if I had to wear that ridiculous thing for a while. I would've hated to forget about the Organization, about my replica, about you."

Naminé's heart startled. "That's...very touching," she barely said before the tickle in her throat turned into a light cough. Now it was she who was turning away in embarrassment.

When she opened her eyes to face him again, however, her vision had altered. No longer was she beneath the mansion in the vast white room with Riku. Now, the sky above her was open. Day had turned to night, and massive skyscrapers towered over her on every side, not unlike the World that Never Was. One thing was for sure: this was not Twilight Town.

Just as quickly as it entered her vision however, it was gone, and she was back in the pod room. She looked to Riku, who watched her with concern, the same as when he'd pulled her from the wall of the white room.

"Naminé, are you okay?"

She didn't answer, but immediately fumbled for her sketchbook and pencils. They both fell from her grasp, but she dropped to the ground along with them and began drawing. Her drawing hand, though out of practice, worked frantically as if the vision would fade like a dream.

The focus of her sketch was not the big picture, but the building that her vision had spent the longest time on. A cylindrical-shaped structure, with a bright red number hung across the top.

"104?" Riku spoke. She hadn't even noticed him sitting across from her, fixated on her work with anticipation.

The edges of surrounding buildings completed the drawing, along with the dark pavement and the peppering of raindrops. She held up the messy sketch for him to see.

"Riku, I-I think I still have access to them." When he still sat frozen, she elaborated. "Sora's memories."

His eyes, usually so calm and collected, blew wide with surprise. A genuine smile graced his features for the first time that day, and the thorn in her throat grew sharper.

"Naminé," he breathed, "you're incredible."

For the second time that day, muscled arms encased her, only now it wasn't for awkward comfort but a tight desperation, like how Kairi had first hugged her. Naminé still held her sketch between herself and Riku's torso, but sighed and relaxed her shoulders anyways. She could get used to receiving hugs everyday.

Sooner than her liking, however, the moment was cut short when her coughing uncontrollably resurfaced. Riku tensed and pushed her shoulders back. "Ah- sorry. I guess Sora's rubbing off on me more than I thought."

She recovered as best as she could. "It's okay, I'm not complaining." She smiled brightly and turned to look at her sketch again. It had become a little smudged, but the image was still as clear as day. "Does this look familiar to you?"

Still seated across from her, Riku looked over it intensely before meeting her inquisitive gaze.

"So last night, I had this dream…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and for the support! The more I write Riku and Naminé, the more I love them. They're just so earnest and sweet, yet somewhat awkward a the same time, haha. Looking forward to sharing more!


	3. Chapter 3

After their revelation, leisure time in Twilight Town would have to be postponed. The pair didn't even wait a day before taking off back to Radiant Garden.

Riku held himself differently on the return trip. From her seat behind him at an angle, she couldn't take in all of his features, but what she could see was enough. His posture had already been fairly polished, but now he held his head slightly higher than normal. The normally tense focus gave way to a relaxed smile. He looked...happy. More so than during their group trip to Destiny Islands.

She wanted to say something, but feared that speaking too soon would break this joyous trance he'd placed himself in while mindlessly flying the gummi ship. So trying her best to not alert him, she pulled her sketchbook into her lap, slowly turned to an empty page, and began to draw.

His features were difficult to describe, somehow both soft and sharp at the same time. Though his hair was light and silver, it reflected the colors around itself more vibrantly. She'd observed as such in the warm sunlight of Twilight Town and the tropical backdrop of Destiny Islands. Now more than ever, she wished for an expanded color set. Charcoal pencil would have to do for the moment.

She was able to work in silence until pain hit her throat, and she coughed on instinct before she could stop herself. This time, just a few wasn't enough. It felt like something was _in_ her throat, trying to crawl its way out.

Atleast she'd managed to flip her sketchbook closed before Riku turned his attention to her. "You okay?"

"I-I'm fine, Riku," she croaked when her voice allowed it.

He raised an eyebrow. "You've been sick all day. You should see Aerith when we get back."

The urge to cough and dislodge whatever was there wouldn't let up. Until one final cough, when she felt something soft and feather light hit the palm that covered her mouth.

She dreaded looking, but what she found was quite the opposite from what she'd expected. A small yellow flower petal greeted her, whole and clean.

As far as Naminé knew, they hadn't come across any such flowers in Twilight Town, and she certainly hadn't _inhaled_ any. Even on the chance that it came from that morning's tea, how many blends had whole flower petals in them? Confusion wracked her, which hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Naminé?"

She lifted her gaze, and found his simple inquiry had turned to mild concern. How long had she been staring silently at her hand?

Her hand closed over the small petal. If her confusion was any indication, she certainly didn't want to freak Riku out with this affliction.

"I'll visit Aerith, but I still want to see Kairi first." She reassured him with a smile. "This is more important."

Her pilot only looked partially convinced. He opened his mouth to speak, but instead closed his lips into a tight, straight line. He yielded with a nod, "Okay."

* * *

Thanks to their quick departure, the cool winds and rocky surroundings of Radiant Garden soon greeted Naminé for the second time in two days. They didn't wait to be escorted back to Ienzo's lab, and neither did Naminé care whether Ansem the Wise was there or not.

Riku made the dramatic entrance, throwing open the laboratory doors and startling Ienzo. An instinctive crackle of magic sparked on his fingertips for a moment of panic, but his shoulders quickly relaxed as he let out an irritated sigh.

"You have a phone, you know." He shook his hands loose. "You're lucky I wasn't doing any delicate work."

He nodded to the reclining seat in the lab, where Kairi was halfway to her feet already.

"Sorry, but we rushed back," Riku said, and stepped aside for Naminé to make her way through.

Kairi leaned forward intently. Hope had always been present in her eyes, but now more than ever was the sentiment present as she gave them her full attention.

"Did you find anything?" she asked.

Naminé took a deep breath and loosened the grip on her sketchbook. She didn't regard the scientist in the room, but the girl who she knew would be happiest to hear the news. "I saw one of Sora's memories. A new one."

Kairi was on her feet and across the room in a second, throwing her arms excitedly around her former Nobody. The third hug she'd gotten that day.

"Oh, Naminé! I knew you could do it!" She cried.

"That's incredible!" Ienzo, whose voice was normally so calm, betrayed his own enthusiasm in his pitch.

"What's even more incredible," Riku added, "she sketched her vision, just like before."

Naminé recoiled bashfully, and lifted her sketchbook to take her place in the limelight. "I couldn't have done it alone. Revisiting the mansion wasn't without its memories."

"Nonsense," Kairi said. "It was your idea to go in the first place."

Both her and Ienzo eyed the sketch closely, but neither of them showed the same recognition that Riku had.

Ienzo tapped his chin. "I don't know this place, though I suppose the tall buildings might resemble The World That Never Was. We'll have to search for leads."

"Actually, we might already have one," Naminé smiled and turned to Riku. "If you're comfortable telling them..."

Riku nodded. "I thought it was just the heavy emotions, but the night Sora disappeared, I had a dream that I was in a dense city, similar to the one here. It was dark and raining. Even though it was empty, I felt like someone was watching me."

Ienzo rapidly took notes, and Kairi smiled in acknowledgment. "Hearts, memories, and dreams. They're all so connected. I wonder…"

"What is it, Kairi?" Naminé asked.

"It's been only a day, and you both have already found connections to Sora. Meanwhile, there's been no luck with me yet. I hate feeling so useless…"

Riku approached her and held her shoulders. "Hey, none of that now. If anyone's closely connected to Sora, it's you. Your ties to Sora are there. You just have to find them."

"To trigger this one memory took both Riku and I, and quite the emotional experience," Naminé reassured her. "I'm sure with all three of us, we'll find even more connections."

Kairi smiled. "Thank you both. Whenever I think of my memories, I can't help but reflect on the missing ones from my childhood. If dreams and memories are connected, then maybe I have to...dream to find them."

"That would be quite the experiment," Ienzo paced in thought. "But if those memories are deep, then it may take quite a bit to reach them. A controlled, long-term induced sleep, perhaps?"

The suggestion was barely the final verdict, but Kairi nodded with determination. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes. For Sora."

"You won't be alone, Kairi," Riku said. "I'll check in on you every day."

"Me too," Naminé smiled while still clutching her sketchbook. "Not just for Sora's memories, but for you as well. You've been my model for bravery for my entire existence. Remember that you're not alone in your dreams, okay?"

Kairi returned her smile, and heartfelt tears began to form in her eyes before she pulled both Naminé and Riku in for a tight hug.

"Aww you guys!"

Ienzo cleared his throat to remind everyone of his presence. "Well if I know one thing so far, it's that Sora is lucky to have all of you."

Kairi gave everyone one last hug before entering into sleep, not wanting to wait another second. For a moment, Riku and Naminé waited, both worried about her state and unsure when she was actually asleep.

"I believe she's stable," Ienzo finally said. "With dusk approaching, I suggest you both figure out your sleeping arrangements. I'm sure you're both welcome to stay in the castle if you'd like. We've certainly the rooms to spare."

Riku crossed his arms and looked to Naminé. "That might be our safest option, if you're comfortable."

Naminé thought for a moment. Could she live under the same roof as that man again, even if it was within a giant castle? The odds of crossing him were narrow, but she steeled herself for the possibility. "I'm not ready to confront or even forgive him, but I think I'm ready to atleast be in his presence."

"You can leave the talking up to me. I'll speak with Ansem."

If he was going to do a favor for her, then the least she could do was ease his worry in return. "Then I'll visit Aerith while you do."

* * *

Despite Radiant Garden having been aptly named, the flowers surrounding and decorating Aerith's home put the rest of the town to shame. Living on the outskirts afforded her more space to decorate, and the healer had made use of every inch. Flowers of all shapes and colors surrounded Naminé as she walked the cobblestone path to her wooden door. The gradient of the landscape flowed seamlessly through each shade, from warm to cool to black and white.

As she stepped closer to the door and noticed the hand bell mounted to its side, Naminé was hit with a sudden bout of nerves. So far, she'd always been around people she'd already met. And while Aerith's kindness and approachable demeanor had been emphasized by everyone, she still worried about making a good first impression.

Naminé took a deep breath. She hadn't known Terra when she'd reached out to his heart during the fight against Xehanort. If she could do that, she could knock on Aerith's door and introduce herself.

The bell gave off a pleasant chime upon being rung, neither too loud nor too pitched. The sound of approaching footsteps grew louder, and a moment later, the door was opened.

Naminé didn't even have to introduce herself.

"Oh hello! You're Naminé, right?" The woman smiled, her deep green eyes wide with a pleasant surprise. She stepped aside and gestured for Naminé to enter. "It's great to have you in Radiant Garden. The more, the merrier!"

"Y-yes. Thank you." Naminé nodded shyly as she crossed the threshold of Aerith's home.

If the landscape of her home reflected Radiant Garden, then its interior reflected the forest surrounding Twilight Town. No attempt had been made to cover the wooden frame of the roof and ceiling, but the extra open space only allowed more warm light to fill the area. Greenery poured from pots that hung from the windows and ceiling.

"It's nice to be the first to meet a new person for once. Normally Leon jumps the gun," Aerith giggled. "What can I help you with?"

Aerith pulled out a chair at a small round table just inside her home and ran to her kitchen to begin brewing tea. Naminé took her offer in the open chair and took the time to gather her thoughts. She wasn't sure how to begin describing it, so she started from the beginning.

"I hate to ask for help on our first meeting, but I've had this strange...affliction since I awoke."

"Medicine and healing are what I'm best at. What's the trouble?"

Naminé waited to continue until Aerith returned with tea and sat across from her.

"It started with a small tickle in my throat, and has only gotten worse. Now I'm coughing very often, and…" she pulled out her sketchbook and turned to the empty page where the yellow flower petal had been pressed. "Yesterday, _this_ came out."

Aerith leaned forward, and her brows furrowed, not in disgust, but with thoughtfulness.

"Out of your...throat?" Aerith asked.

Naminé nodded. "I know it sounds impossible, but I don't know what's wrong with me."

"I see," Aerith shifted her focus from the petal to Naminé. "This may sound like a strange question, Naminé, but are you...close with anyone?"

It definitely took the girl aback. She'd expected her to ask about other symptoms, her diet, or where she'd travelled, but not about her friendships.

"My powers are connected to Sora. I'm close with Kairi, and I've spent time with Riku, Xion, Roxas, and everyone since I awoke, but it's only been a few days."

Aerith giggled lightly. "I mean a _deeper_ sensation. Is there anyone you feel close to emotionally?"

"Like...a crush?"

"Exactly like a crush."

Naminé's gaze shifted to the teacup cradled in her hand. She couldn't quite distinguish the strong emotions apart from one another, but one person did come to mind immediately. Perhaps it was only because she'd spent so much time with him recently, or that she'd gone through quite the emotional journey while he'd been present.

"Maybe? Many emotions still feel so new," she paused, coming back to the reason for her visit. "What does that have to do with this?" she pointed to the petal.

"There's only one disease I've heard of in which patients cough up flower petals, but I've never treated anyone for it."

With that, she stood and made her way over to a tall, well populated book shelf. The wait was anxiety-inducing as the woman walked her fingers along the dozens of book spines before withdrawing a large tome. Naminé grounded herself in her teacup's warmth and citrusy smell to calm her nerves. If Aerith could put a name to her affliction, she could likely treat it as well.

She flipped the pages back and forth a couple of times before landing on a page with both illustration and text.

"Hanahaki Disease," Aerith said, pointing to the title. Just below it, an illustration depicted a man, otherwise healthy and normal, with his head tilted back, his eyes closed, and dozens of flowers blooming out of his mouth. Naminé would have thought it to be a lovely piece of art if it weren't printed in a medicinal tome.

"Sometimes, very rarely, when someone loves another person, and it is unconfessed or unrequited, a flower representing that love will begin to bloom within the admirer, rooting itself within their lungs."

Naminé's hand gravitated to her neck, mimicking how the figure clutched his own. Would she look like...that? "That sounds painful," she said.

"It can be, and if left untreated, could lead to...suffocation."

A pit welled in Naminé's stomach. She'd just gotten her heart, her life, back, and now she was at risk to lose it again? All for an emotion she wasn't even sure how to feel yet? She steadied her breathing and focussed on the glimpse of hope in Aerith's words.

"There's treatment?"

Aerith nodded. "Several, both physical and emotional, each with their own side effects. The first, and most ideal option, is to confess your love and have it returned. The flower will wither and die, and you live on happily."

That sounded easy enough, though the 'have it returned' part was risky and far out of her control.

"The second is to force yourself to stop loving them. More emotionally painful, but the flower will still disappear. The last resort," Aerith paused and turned the page, where a close-up illustration of a pair of lungs was detailed, "is to surgically remove the flower itself."

"Last resort?" Naminé asked. "Because of the risky surgery?"

"That too, but there are also side effects. You will lose all love for the subject, but also...all memories of them."

Ah. There it was.

Naminé had taken away the memories of many people. How ironic it would be for her to lose some of her most precious memories permanently.

Perhaps it would be the universe's way of getting justice.

Naminé felt a grip on her shoulders, and her gaze snapped back to reality. Back into the small humble home, with Aerith smiling at her gently.

"I only tell you the worst case because you need to know. I doubt it would ever come to that, Naminé."

Naminé relaxed her shoulders and let out a long exhale. The knowledge that a flower - an actual flower - was living within her chest was discomforting, but for now the pain was tolerable, and only came rarely.

"What should I do?"

"I think you know the answer," Aerith winked at her. "You don't have to tell me, but based on your face, you probably already know who it is. If you're comfortable, you should tell them how you feel."

But how could she tell him how she feels if she could barely even articulate it within her own head? Riku wasn't one to express emotions so openly and freely. How would he take it? Could she actually love anyone right now?

"Emotions are still so new to me." Naminé folded her hands in front of her chest. "I don't even know what _love_ is. Could you tell me?"

Aerith giggled lightly. "It's alot of things. I'm not sure I could do it justice. But," she tapped her chin in thought, her gaze drifting off as if she were revisiting an old memory. "Generally, when you love someone, you want them around, to be with them through everything. You put their needs and happiness before yours. And even when you haven't seen or heard from them in a long time, you think of them everyday, hoping to get to see them again."

The description was alot to take in, yet at the same time had left her fully enraptured. Could she really feel that way? She recalled her heart's stutter when she saw him for the first time again. The excitement at getting to travel with him alone. How safe she'd felt when he'd held her, if only for a brief moment. The hypnosis he'd put her in just by being happy. She'd do anything to see it again.

The room grew dizzy, not from her illness, but the rushing thoughts in her head. She rested her forehead against her hand. "I-I need time to think."

Aerith took her free hand. "Of course. It's still in the early stages, so you don't have to act today. This stays between us."

Naminé nodded. "Thank you. It's quite embarrassing that I've developed this so quickly."

"Maybe it's been there all along," Aerith squeezed her hand. "I don't study Heartless and Nobodies as much as the others do, but perhaps a strong emotion like love has been sown within you, waiting for a heart to nourish and grow it."

Naminé smiled, recalling her positive memories within the mansion. "I hope you're right."

"And love is nothing to be embarrassed about," the healer added. "No matter how quickly you fall."

* * *

Naminé returned to the castle, carrying the medicinal herbs Aerith had given her to help slow the symptoms. Her eyes had been on the floor, and her mind in a million different places when she collided with someone and nearly dropped everything.

"Naminé! Are you alright?" Riku's voice would never sound the same after her revelation. Every modulation and leap in pitch was noticeable. When she looked up to him, she wasn't even sure she'd be able to look at him normally again. "What did Aerith say?"

She felt like she could only move in slow motion as her eyes travelled down to the bag in her hands. Words. How did she form words?

"Medicine," she said and immediately wanted to shrink. Full sentences now. "I have medicine."

She held up the small bag of herbs, partly for clarification, but mostly so her face could hide behind something.

"Oh," he said. "Well that's good then. Hopefully you start feeling better soon."

If only he knew. "Me too, Riku."

For a moment, she just stood and fumbled with her bag, words and thoughts seeming to evaporate from her mind. A quick glance to him told her he was doing the same, but why could he possibly feel flustered?

"I was just-"

"Well it's-"

They cut each other off, staring and both waiting in silence for the other to continue before giving into awkward chuckles.

"It's been quite a day. I think I need rest."

His eyes widened. "Oh, right, your room." He led her down the hallways to a larger room than the one she'd stayed in before. "Figured you might want something a little better since you're staying a while."

It was still simple to her liking with a small writing desk in the corner, on which she placed her sketchbook and her medicine. She turned around to catch Riku before he could find an excuse to leave.

"And how are you, Riku?"

He averted his gaze and shrugged. "I'm fine."

With his height, it was easy for her to lean down and read his expression. "Are you sure? With how I'm feeling, I can't imagine how this must've been for you."

"I...I think so," he said. "I don't know. Happy with what we've found, but frustrated that things never settle down. There's always something gone wrong, or some mysterious force working up to something."

"You thought you'd all be done with Xehanort?"

He chuckled, "When you say it outloud, it does sound ridiculous."

"It's not, Riku," she smiled and dared to touch his arm in reassurance. "Who wouldn't want peace and happiness, to know everyone they care about is safe?"

He jumped at the sudden contact, but didn't pull away. Naminé decided not to push the boundary too much, and retracted her hand. She gave him space to find what to say or allow the conversation to end there if he wanted.

"It sounds so far away, but then again, if my job is to protect those around me, then real peace would put me out of a job." The corners of his mouth curled up into a small smile, and she giggled.

"Don't worry, Riku. As long as I'm around, I'm sure I'll always need protection from something."

The final words had made it out before she even realized what she was saying.

_When you love someone, you want them around all the time_.

Her room suddenly felt several degrees warmer, and Riku was painfully silent in front of her, wide-eyed and turning pink as well. The source of her affliction began to act up again at the base of her throat.

"T-thank you for that today, by the way," she said, trying to divert her point. "I don't know if I could've done it alone."

"Uh- of course," he said. "Though, if I'm being honest, it was you who helped me. With Sora's memories."

"Oh." The pressure had grown, forcing her to clear her throat. "I'm glad."

"I guess it was a coincidence. Us being together must've triggered the memory."

"We should do it again sometime," she blurted out before quickly covering her mouth. Why couldn't she think before she spoke? She cursed the disease for distracting her so much. "It could trigger more memories, perhaps?"

He watched her for a moment, his eyes focussed as if he was trying to read through her expression. And she swore his face hadn't been that pink moments earlier. "I was going to suggest the same, actually."

Naminé cleared her throat again, but the pressure only grew. The lump in her throat was rising, and not just from her many slips of the tongue. She turned away before coughing into her elbow, doing her best to cover her mouth just in case another petal slipped out.

A look of shock crossed Riku's face, as if he just remembered her predicament. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

She waved it off. "No, no, don't worry. I just need to take medicine," she lied.

Riku didn't look fully convinced as he crossed his arms, but he still nodded. "If you say so." He turned to leave her in her room, but stopped just outside the doorway. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Despite the growing discomfort in her throat, she managed a smile. "Yes. Tomorrow."

If he wanted to see her too, maybe it wasn't such a far stretch that he felt the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Naminé and Riku both give off confused dial-up noises when they're flustered, and converting that into dialogue-form has been an interesting exercise. I love them! Thank you for reading and for all the support :)


	4. Chapter 4

In a few weeks, Naminé's medicine was gone, and she woke to flower petals on her pillow.

Aerith refilled her supply, but urged her to take action soon. The medicine was only to ease the pain, after all, not stop the hanahaki from spreading.

Naminé had hoped to muster the courage to say something - _anything_ \- but everytime she looked into his eyes, it never felt right. She'd still just become whole, and there were many more pressing matters at hand. So instead, everyday she'd swallow the words that had danced in her head the night before and poured all of her energy into tracing Sora's memories.

Seeing the way Riku's face lit up everytime she showed him a drawing of another vision made it all worthwhile anyways.

Not much new or substantial had been seen. More cityscapes of what she assumed was the same metropolis, occasionally a memory of a past adventure or, if Naminé was sitting with Kairi, often a recounting of one of their moments together.

Naminé visited Kairi in the mornings, and though she slumbered, unable to respond with words, the visions Naminé received of Sora's memories told her enough.

She showed no one else their memories together, already feeling like she'd intruded enough viewing them herself. Naminé could only hope that in return for her vulnerability, Kairi would be able to recover her own lost memories.

To both her delight and the detriment of her medicinal supply, she saw Riku daily, though their sessions together weren't nearly as emotionally charged as the first.

"So, what are we supposed to talk about exactly?" He'd asked the first time.

She'd shrugged. "Anything you like, I suppose, until I figure out how my powers work."

And so they had, and though not every visit gave her a vision, she was content to just talk and learn more about him. And hoped he felt the same.

One day, they moved their conversation from within the castle to the gardens outside. Between the towering walls, the maze of hedges, and the tall water fountains, Naminé was confident no one would be able to see or hear them.

"You know," she said, taking a seat on one of the benches, "I feel bad that I don't know more about you. We did spend a whole year together."

He stretched but opted to remain standing. "That was different. For both of us."

"Maybe if I'd had a heart back then…"

He chuckled. "I promise it wasn't you. I had one, and I was probably the worst company to have back then."

She giggled. "I suppose. I'm just happy to finally hear your side of Sora's memories."

"Yea-wait what?" He froze mid-stretch, with his arms frozen above his head.

Naminé sensed his shift and panicked. Had she said something wrong? She'd assumed he knew that she'd seen Sora's earliest memories, but perhaps not. Was he...embarrassed? She fumbled with her sketchbook and contemplated lying or changing the subject, but she needed to be honest if they were going to get anywhere - with Sora's memories or otherwise.

She waited for his arms to finally drop to his sides before responding. "I've seen many of Sora's memories, including ones from his early childhood...many with you there."

She was gifted with an expression she'd never seen from Riku before. Normally so calm and well put together, it quickly changed. His eyes went wide, his face as bright as the sun

He sank beside her on the bench. "So you've seen...everything embarrassing I've ever done basically."

"Only what Sora knows about." She tried to reassure him, but realized she'd probably said something worse. Again.

"So the time we raced on the beach after it rained?"

"Y-yes, with the slippery mud."

"And the time I was late to class."

She stifled a giggle. "And you still forgot your-"

"Don't. I get it." He slouched in his seat and quickly covered his face with his hands. "Why didn't I realize this earlier? You sifted through Sora's memories, of course you know."

Embarrassment was an interesting emotion, if it could even be counted as one. Nobodies, beings who supposedly couldn't feel emotions, still often acted to avoid shame and humiliation.

Naminé couldn't speak from experience, having no childhood to _be_ embarrassed about, but Riku's shame was unique. From Sora's perspective, he hadn't had _that_ many moments of humiliation. He'd had a habit of talking a big game and playing himself up, experiencing shame mostly when he couldn't meet the expectations he'd set himself up for. A lost race or sparring match, or failing to row himself one-handed through heavy tides.

She didn't need Sora's memories to know what he was mostly ashamed of, but that wasn't what this was about.

Seeing Riku in such a state surprised her. It was as if a wall had crumbled - one that he hadn't wanted to fall down quite yet. He'd never been more vulnerable in front of her, and she felt the need to comfort him in the same way he had for her.

"Riku, it's okay." She reached out and touched his arm. "Sora's memories of you brought only joy from your childhoods together." He finally pulled his hand down his face and regarded her. His cheeks were as bright as the roses that bloomed around them, but she resisted the urge to laugh. "Plus," she added. "Your memories are safe with me. I would never…" she paused, biting her lip to buy her time to find the right words. "I'd never use them against you or pry where I'm not wanted."

The tension in his shoulders began to dissipate. His eyes grew wide again, not with horror and humiliation, but with something new. "Really?" he asked, and lowered the arm she touched to rest between them.

Her fingers trailed down his gloved forearm before stopping at his wrist. "I meant what I said, about getting to know you better. Anything you choose to reveal stays with me. Even if the Organization were to reappear and try to force them out of me, I'd never let them."

"Don't...don't joke about that." His gaze softened.

"I'm serious," she said, tracing small circles. "And besides, memories will only get me so much."

"What do you mean?"

"I want to hear your memories from you, Riku, not from my powers, or Sora, or anyone else."

For a moment, Riku froze, his mouth hanging open as if he was about to respond. Her nerves kept her hand in place just below his hand, but she also wanted to leave that doorway open. To give him the chance to close the distance or back away if he wanted. After a minute of contemplative silence, he answered her, moving his hand beneath hers so her fingers brushed his palm. He squeezed her hand lightly and nodded. "Thank you."

She smiled brightly, uncontrollably. "If only I hadn't been a Nobody, or else I'd repay you by telling childhood stories of my own."

He chuckled. "That's okay, I'll find other ways to get you back."

Naminé tried to think of a place in her heart where he wasn't welcome, and came up empty. As she imagined what he could possibly come up with, another vision hit her.

The backdrop of the vast dark city was the same, but this time her point of view was elevated. Almost like Sora was on a rooftop. A face she hadn't seen before confronted her from straight ahead. Her sketchbook was already in front of her, so her pencil began to move right away.

Faces certainly weren't her strength, but this one in particular resembled one she'd drawn a few times.

She came back to Riku watching her with silent anticipation. By then, he could recognize when her focus shifted and merely sat and waited for her to finish. When she pulled her hand back, his head tilted to the side to get a better look.

"Are you drawing...me?"

_Not today_ , she refrained from saying aloud.

"I don't think so." She pulled out her colored pencils and began shading in the features. "Not your replica either. This man's eyes had different colors, and I don't think you've ever wielded a weapon like this one." Her hand drifted down the page and tapped at the crossbow she'd roughly sketched.

His expression wasn't necessarily hostile or angry, but at the same time he wasn't smiling either. The fact that his weapon had been directed at her vision's point of view - at Sora - didn't sit well.

"Do you think he's in danger?" She asked.

"Sora's always in danger."

She giggled at that, whether it was meant as a joke or not. "I...I don't know who this is, and I can't really feel any emotions through these memories."

"I'd remember meeting another person who resembles me this much."

"Maybe someone else will recognize him."

And so the focus shifted from gathering more memories to finding the man's identity. Neither the Restoration Committee nor anyone in the castle recognized him. Their initial reactions had been the same as Riku's, and by the time they'd finished showing everyone, Naminé considered prefacing each conversation with an ' _it's not Riku_ ' disclaimer.

In the evening, Naminé fell with a plop onto her bed, only for a knock at her doorway to bring her back to a decent sitting position.

"No luck?" Riku leaned against her room's entryway. She shook her head and motioned for him to come in. He took up the same position against her desk, standing and facing her with folded contemplative arms. "Maybe we should ask people...off world."

"Like in Twilight Town?"

"Or the Land of Departure, Mickey's Castle, anywhere Sora had travelled, really."

"That's...alot of places." She hid her hands beneath her legs and slouched her back.

He ducked his head and averted his gaze. "I'd hate to leave after promising Kairi I'd be here."

He _had_ promised to be with her everyday, that she'd never be alone, but he hadn't been the only one to make that promise. Her mind began to wander, and she hated the suggestion that soon spilled from her mouth. "What if...I stayed and you went?"

His eyebrows raised, and he seemed much more relieved at her idea than she was. Maybe the thought of being apart for so long didn't pain him as much.

"You wouldn't mind?" He asked.

"I'd be fine, probably more worried about you travelling alone." A lie and a truth told together.

He nodded. "First, we'll ask everyone we can call, to save the trip. If we get any leads, we'll follow those. If not, then I guess we've got quite the search effort."

She wanted to protest her own suggestion. To guarantee that Kairi would be fine and safe. The thought of travelling the worlds with Riku, even if it wasn't quite a vacation, sounded wonderful.

But she knew going with him would only slow everything down. The guilt from leaving Kairi alone would weigh heavily, and anything she could do to help unlock her memories was more important than any wish fulfilment. Not to mention how much she'd slow Riku down if they needed to fight anything. She couldn't deny that the image of Riku standing between her and danger, Keyblade drawn and battle-ready, sent a delightful shiver up her spine, but again, it was too selfish.

"Naminé?"

She blinked and realized her lips had been hanging slightly open. A quick shake of her head brought her mind back to the present.

"You zoned out for a sec. Everything okay?" He was still in the same position she'd last seen him in, only with his head tilted inquisitively to the side.

"Y-yeah. Just going through plans in my head." She couldn't keep lying to him about her thoughts forever. Riku was good at reading people, especially people he knew, but if he noticed her evasion, he never brought it up. "Who should we call first?" She asked, deciding to stay on topic.

"The ones who know the most, probably. Terra, Aqua, and Ven."

* * *

"Sorry, I can't say we know him," Aqua said, as all three of them tried to fit into the screen's tiny frame.

"Who is it? I can't see," Ven said.

"Riku and Naminé."

"Oh, hey guys! Can't say I recognize him, but he does look familiar, like I've seen him somewhere."

"Very helpful, Ven," Terra nudged him. "I'm glad your powers are back, Naminé, but there's been no luck here either." He opened his mouth as if to say something, but stayed silent for a thoughtful moment. "Hey Riku, if you happen to be travelling anytime soon, mind stopping by here? I've got something to ask you, and it's better done in-person."

"It's looking like I might be soon, so sure thing." Riku turned the phone back to himself from Naminé's sketch. "Should I be nervous?"

The man chuckled. "Only if big empty castles scare you."

Riku smirked and shot a quick glance around the room. "Considering I'm in one, probably not."

The call to Twilight Town was as chaotic and off-topic as they'd expected. They hadn't recognized the man's face either, and eventually Naminé had to leave Roxas and Xion with the promise to visit soon. Some sentiments couldn't be communicated over a call.

Out of everyone, King Mickey had probably seen the most worlds. Seeing his big eyes go over the image she held up to the screen with confusion made her heart sink even further. They were about to hang up and plan for a very long rabbit chase to each world Sora had visited when two familiar voices came in from behind the King.

"Hey, Your Majesty, who're ya talkin to?"

"Goofy?" Riku asked.

"Is that Riku?!" nearly incomprehensible quacking shouted through the phone's tiny speaker.

"Donald, Goofy, of course!" Naminé cheered.

Riku nodded. "You guys have been everywhere Sora has, so maybe you know."

Their faces squeezed into frame, pushing Mickey behind them in the process. "Know what?" Donald asked.

"Gawrsh, it's good to see you guys again. Feels like the beach was too long ago."

"We miss you guys too," Naminé smiled. "But we might have a lead on finding Sora." She held up her sketchbook for what felt like the millionth time that day. "Do you recognize-"

"Why that's-"

"Yozora!"

Naminé froze, unable to even get out the rest of her question.

"Who?" Riku sat forward attentively.

"Yozora," Goofy said more clearly. "Did you guys buy his game or something?"

Riku and Naminé looked to one another with raised eyebrows. "Game?" she asked.

"Yeah, he was in a videogame!" Donald shouted.

"We went to this world of toys, disguised as toys ourselves thanks to Donald here's magic. Yozora was the main character of this videogame there. Too bad we never got to actually meet him."

"How do you know about Yozora?" Donald asked.

Naminé's head began to ache. If he was just a character from a game, then how would he be with Sora? Unless Sora got sucked and trapped within his world.

At her silence, Riku answered for her. "Naminé can see Sora's current memories sometimes. Last one she saw had this man's face, pointing his weapon at Sora."

"Gawrsh, Yozora's a bad guy?"

"Whaaaa! So Sora's been in a game this whole time?!" Donald screeched.

Mickey butted his ears into frame again. "Well think, fellas. You guys came there as toys, but you still existed as people..."

"What're you saying, Mickey?" Riku asked. "Yozora could be from another world too, not just a game character?"

Goofy scratched his head. "That place was real complicated."

"Yeah," Donald nodded. "All the living toys there had hearts too."

Naminé squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to focus her thoughts. "Wait wait. Before we go on these crazy theories, are you two _sure_ this is Yozora?" A part of her doubted her own vision. Maybe it was no more than a memory from Sora's visit to this world, or her powers were beginning to mix memories together somehow, or her drawing just wasn't as detailed as she needed it to be.

If they had a real lead, then that also meant Riku would have a lead to move forward. She wasn't sure if she was ready to say goodbye yet.

"Positive," Donald nodded.

"One hundred percent." Goofy tapped his head.

Naminé's mind scrambled as Riku continued the conversation. Either way, she supposed, Riku would have to leave soon. Maybe he wouldn't be gone long. And it was a good thing too; they were one step closer to finding Sora.

Watching him eagerly plan his journey, asking Donald and Goofy where this world was and how to get there, she just hoped that a part of him would be sad to leave her. Maybe all that time he'd spent with her was just for their mission. Unlock Sora's memories and piece the puzzle together.

Maybe that was why he hadn't wanted her to see memories of his childhood.

The conversation tuned out, but there was still so much _noise_. It grew louder, with voices everywhere. She closed her eyes, but losing her vision only made it worse. She pictured herself back in Castle Oblivion, overhearing voices arguing outside her room until one hooded figure would enter and taunt her. Or she was standing between Sora and Marluxia, or Sora and Riku's Replica.

Voices.

There had always been voices everywhere, whether arguing or shouting behind closed doors, or whispering deviously next to her ear.

She covered her ears, but the ones in her head only grew louder. A sudden grip on her wrists startled her, forcing her eyes to snap open and take in the light of reality again. Aquamarine greeted her, calm and grounding. Her hands were slowly pried from her temples.

"Naminé, come back." His lone voice spoke, banishing the others.

"I...What happened?" She looked around for the phone, only to find it lying black-screened on the table. "The call."

"I let them go when I noticed you…" He refrained from describing her panicked state, which she was grateful for. She already felt embarrassed enough that she didn't get to say goodbye over the phone, so the thought of others witnessing it made her heart sink. He called her back to the present once more. "Talk to me. Was it DiZ again?"

He hadn't let go of her wrists yet, though his grip had softened. She turned her hands and brushed along the texture of his gloves until landing on the exposed skin of his fingers. Not much, but enough. It had become her way of reaching out for a connection. A way to ground herself in what was real. And though not every one of her anxieties had been appeased, she atleast knew the voices in her head were only memories.

"Him, among others," she said, keeping her gaze low. She almost asked him how he did it, how he held himself together so well. But she already knew from their conversations together that that wasn't true. From the outside, he already had a natural 'togetherness' about him, and it wasn't unusual for him to reserve himself out of necessity for the task at hand. But she knew he'd been hurting too.

Maybe getting to see her in such a state could count as his 'payback' for letting her witness his childhood through Sora's memories.

Riku didn't move his hands, but he didn't pull away either. Had she crossed the boundary too far or too soon?

"Just breathe, okay?" She could tell he was struggling to find the right words to comfort her, but the effort itself was enough. "They can't hurt you anymore."

He'd also done the brave task of confronting the shadow that had followed him. Naminé hadn't so much as said a word to Ansem the Wise, and she'd avoided him at all costs.

She could feel her medicine beginning to fail and knew she had to leave soon.

But he'd be gone soon too.

_I love you_ she wanted to say for the sake of her throat, but even thinking it in her mind made her cringe a little. She took her thoughts a few pegs down. "I'm sad." Her fingers curled more into his. "Sad that you're leaving."

"Oh." This time, his hands responded and squeezed her own, less out of tenderness and more out of reassurance. "I am too, but I'll be back soon."

He hadn't mentioned the usefulness of her powers or Sora's memories, which calmed her nerves. _He's not just here for my powers_ , she told herself. _Maybe he actually likes me too_.

"Promise?" She asked.

His eyes softened. Promises with her weren't taken lightly, and he knew that better than anyone. A light smile tugged at his lips before he spoke.

"I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Riku: Atleast Sora's not here to spill all the embarrassing dirt he has on me to anyone.
> 
> Naminé, who has direct access to Sora's memories: Not so fast.
> 
> Anyways, happy Rikunami/Namiku week! Please show some love and support to the amazing artists and writers that are participating :)


	5. Chapter 5

As Naminé stared down at her empty medicine pouch, she knew that her time would be up soon. The supply of herbal remedies that had previously lasted her weeks had disappeared in a matter of days, and already she felt a thorny prickle at the back of her throat. Of course, the day she realized Riku would have to leave for some time had been particularly bad.

Her only saving grace was the fact that his departure had been delayed. He didn’t need any training, but planning and preparation were crucial to their success in locating Sora. That had given her enough time to think, not about whether she needed to say anything, but about  _ what _ she would say.

How did one confess their love, anyways? Did she actually have to say the word itself, or could she find another way to say it? She knew so little of love, and the fairytales she’d read since her awakening and realization hadn’t seemed entirely realistic. 

The second anxiety nagging at the back of her head was a single question: could he actually love her back? He cared for her enough to fly all the way to Radiant Garden when she’d awoken. He’d embraced her amidst her emotional turmoil without even a hint of judgment. He’d complimented her art. And even if he’d just spent time with her in order to find Sora, he  _ had _ appeared to be enjoying himself in her company. 

Just the thought of it made the discomfort in her throat grow. It wouldn’t be much longer before the others noticed. She could tuck away the little petals that slipped out, but more would always come. What if they wouldn’t stop, or worse, what if  _ she  _ stopped breathing?

Maybe Naminé was overthinking it, and she just needed to come right out and say how she felt. But if he didn’t reciprocate, what then? She supposed she could try to stop loving him herself, or brace herself and get the Hanahaki removed.

She’d lose the only memories she couldn’t restore.

Her time in the mansion would be filled with blank spaces and no comfort to cushion the hardship. Her mission to restore Sora’s memories would have been a lonely one. Recalling Castle Oblivion would be even stranger. Her mind shifted to Riku’s replica and whether she’d still remember him. He didn’t deserve to have memories of him erased either. He was his own person, she believed, so maybe her memories of him would remain. 

No, she couldn’t risk it. 

If she did forget about Riku, How would he react? Spending so much time with someone, only for them to suddenly act like they’d never met you—it seemed cruel. Would he try to rebuild their friendship from the ground up?

She was getting ahead of herself again. It was no use speculating on the potential pain she’d endure with rejection. If anyone had asked her if she was worthy of love when she’d first awoken, she’d probably have said no. For who could love a former Nobody who’d just gained a heart? 

Now, however? 

Whenever her gaze found Riku, whenever their eyes met during conversation and one corner of his lips would lift into a smile, whenever his shoulders relaxed in her presence, whenever he took in every detail of her drawings—and she, in turn, took in every detail of him—she’d begun to believe she deserved a life of just that. If she could learn to love alongside him, that was more than she could ask for. 

Naminé had decidedly spent enough time in her own mind, so she picked herself off of her bed and went to the only person who knew Riku better than anyone else.

Sure, Kairi had a soft and comfortable bed to lay on, but Naminé wished that the scientists had atleast given her friend a better sleeping atmosphere than a cold, industrial laboratory. Atleast Ienzo had always respected their privacy, so the two girls were left alone during Naminé’s visits. Kairi slept soundly, but her former Nobody could feel her heart’s presence. She took a deep breath and sat in the chair beside Kairi’s bed.

“Kairi, I have a confession to make.” She reached out and rested her hand within Kairi’s at her side. “I know you’re not awake to fully react, but I hope you won’t think poorly of me.”

“The truth is I...I’m in love. With Riku.”

She’d never admitted it outloud before. It was good practice, she supposed, as the weight of her secret had already begun to lift from her shoulders.

“Silly, I know. I’ve only just gained my own heart, and already I’m rushing to give it to someone else.” She paused and waited for any reaction, but Kairi just slept with the same relaxed smile she always had. Maybe that meant approval, for Naminé had half-expected the girl to jolt awake and either squeal in excitement or scream with panic. 

No, Kairi was too kindhearted to give pity. 

“I just want someone else to know, and when I think of love, I picture you and Sora extending your hands out to me. You love other people, sure, but not nearly in the same way that you love each other. I don’t need to look into Sora’s memories to know that, and, well, I did live within your heart for a whole year.” She let out a laugh before glancing around and verifying again that they were still alone in the room. “I...I hope I don’t mess this up. I don’t know yet if I’m worthy of Riku’s affection, but if you think that I am, then that might push me to actually...”

Before she could finish her thought, a new vision suddenly swarmed Naminé’s senses, but this time it wasn’t an old memory of Sora and Kairi. Naminé swiftly opened her sketchbook, well-practiced in blindly pulling it and her pencil from her bag.

The landscape was familiarly dark and rainy, like in her many other visions. But now, instead of looking to a wide cityscape with towering buildings from a tall rooftop, the memory was from the ground level, gazing within a small shop window. 

Specifically, displayed brightly against the window pane, was a large stuffed shape of a Paopu Fruit. Soon after, Sora’s partially-covered hand raised into her vision, carrying the familiar charm that Kairi had gifted to him long ago. The same charm whose meaning Naminé had once manipulated to point to her instead.

Naminé understood then. Sora remembered Kairi and their connection. Or perhaps he feared that his memories of her would slip away again. She couldn’t sense whether he felt happy, worried, or lonely, but she wished she had a way to communicate back with him. 

She wondered how this world knew of the paopu fruit and its legend. If Yozora was only connected to their world as a fictional character, then how could stories from their outside world make their way within? Or perhaps Yozora simply knew the best way to speak to Sora’s heart, well-intentioned or not.

But those were questions for more knowledgeable people later on. Sora and Kairi had guided this memory to Naminé while she spoke of love. She’d been given this memory for a reason. 

“He really does love you,” Naminé said when her own vision took over once again. 

Kairi couldn’t respond, as expected, but Naminé still gave her hand a gentle squeeze. 

In the silence that followed, a sudden curiosity came over Naminé. As a Nobody, she could alter the memories of Sora and those connected to him, but she could only view and change memories related to Sora. Now, she had a full heart and an existence unrelated to the Keyblade wielder at all. She hadn’t thought to test the full expanse of her magic, but she wondered if gaining a full heart had allowed her to see full memories. 

See Kairi’s full memories. The ones she can’t remember. 

Naminé shifted her focus from Sora’s memories to the ones of the girl who slept beside her. 

“I hope you’ll trust me, Kairi,” she said before closing her eyes, and one by one, Kairi’s memories made themselves known in an endless chain. 

Naminé’s breath stuttered, and pure ambition drove her onward, to search as far back within Kairi’s memories as she could. Some older links on the chain were weak, likely nudged to the back of Kairi’s mind as it made way for new memories. A silhouette of a young boy with spiked hair showed itself in one final vision, then the memories abruptly stopped. 

They didn’t so much end as they ceased functioning. Naminé could see the remnants of chains, now long-broken and shattered. She could mend breaks she’d made herself, having had a whole year of practice repairing her damage. But this? This was something else entirely. 

Naminé took the first broken link and examined it as closely as she could. Kairi had been asleep for the better part of a few months now. If she still couldn’t regain these memories, then something drastic had done this damage.

When a memory had been shattered this heavily beyond repair, Naminé couldn’t even begin to wonder how she could piece it back together. Perhaps over time, she could, but worry prevented her from considering it. Maybe it had been destroyed for a reason, and regaining those memories would only cause Kairi more pain.

Her consciousness returned to the metallic room, and her mind to her experiment. “I can’t believe it,” she giggled. She could see and alter the memories of others, not just Sora. No memory was off limits to her magic, but the excitement of her discovery quickly turned into a massive weight of dread and responsibility. This scale of power, if put into the wrong hands, could be devastating. 

The only thing she knew was that the number of people to tell about her newfound powers needed to remain limited. Trusted friends only, and ones who could keep a secret. 

The laboratory door creaked open and startled Naminé, causing her to drop her sketchbook with a loud clatter.

“Oh, sorry!” Ienzo held his hands out apologetically. “I should’ve knocked first.”

“It’s okay.” Naminé relaxed and laughed it off. “It’s your lab, after all.”

“How is Kairi? Anything new?” He paused and chuckled. “Funny, normally it’s other people asking  _ me  _ for answers. Feels weird to be the one prodding.”

Naminé smiled and retrieved her belongings. “I think she’s doing okay. I saw another one of Sora’s memories. A new one.”

“Oh?” The man stepped closer as Naminé held up her sketchbook. The drawing was simple, a small shop window with a light beaming down on the stuffed paopu fruit on display. “Oh,” he repeated more solemnly. A saddened smile crossed Ienzo’s features, telling Naminé she didn’t need to elaborate any further. 

“Yeah,” Naminé confirmed and tucked away her sketchbook. Ienzo could probably be trusted with the knowledge of her magic, but she needed time to figure out how to explain it all. 

Sitting with her dear friend had provided a distraction and a surprising revelation, but now her mind drifted to her more urgent dilemma once again. More specifically, she pondered the meaning of the vision and the reason she’d been shown it.

Right after admitting her feelings for Riku.

Naminé shot out of her seat, startling Ienzo in return. “There’s something I have to do. Do you know where Riku is?”

Ienzo blinked, slow to follow the sudden change of subject. “I believe he’s...with the Restoration Committee, going over everything he needs.”

“Do you mind messaging him for me?”

It wouldn’t be until late evening that she’d see Riku again, which gave her an entire afternoon to fret even  _ more  _ over what to say and every possible reaction from him. She did her best to silence the overly negative voice in her head that said he’d simply laugh her off and leave.

At the same time, however, she had to be a little realistic. Even if he did return her feelings and cure her affliction, it’s possible he wouldn’t want to...act on them yet. There was so much more going on in their lives, so many more important things to do, it felt selfish for Naminé to take so much of his attention. 

The sounds of the rushing multi-sided waterfalls provided enough of a distraction when her thoughts became too much. She stood waiting in the same garden where she’d had her last vision. It felt so long ago despite having happened only days prior. Things had changed so quickly, and it could all change again with a simple confession. 

She spent so long pacing in the garden that she swore she’d created a rut in the grass. When Riku’s voice finally came for real, it made her jump.

“Naminé,” he said. “Ienzo said you wanted to see me.” He emerged from behind the walls, approaching her like he always had with a relaxed familiarity. The evening sun filled the lower gardens with warm light and illuminated him with an almost ethereal glow.

“Y-yes.” She collected herself and stood straight to face him. “Sorry to bother you.”

A single eyebrow quirked at her apologetic nature. “No worries. I didn’t mean to take so long. We considered visiting more worlds Sora’s been to, and...it’s just...everything, you know?”

“Yes,” was all she could bring herself to say. Again.

An awkward silence hung until he initiated the conversation a second time. “We should get you a phone, so you can just...reach out whenever you’d like,” he smiled. “No middle man required.”

Being able to talk to Riku whenever she liked  _ did _ sound amazing. Even then, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to find the right words to say—an ability she desperately needed right now. Riku didn’t have all the time in the world with her anymore.

“I wanted to see you before you left,” she blurted, “without all the fanfare.”

His head tilted to the side. “Oh really? I...was hoping to see you too, actually.” His reassurance lifted her confidence, and her fidgety hands dropped to her sides. The air felt much less heavy as he gestured further into the gardens. “Want to walk?”

A nod was all he needed to lead the way. “I realized I hadn’t thanked you yet,” he said.

“Hm?” she hummed. “What for?”

“Well, alot of things, I suppose.” He glanced away in thought. “Helping locate Sora, being there for Kairi, and just...being a good friend.”

“Oh.” Her face burned in contrast to the chilled garden air. “It’s my pleasure, really.”

She suppressed the cough that wanted to escape her throat, refusing to allow her curse to ruin the moment.

“Being without Sora and Kairi hasn’t been easy. For so long, I just wanted us all to be together again. But having someone else to talk to...it helps alot.”

“Of course.” If only he knew how much his company had done for her as well. “We are friends, you and I.” She’d always supposed that they’d seen one another as friends, but to have it vocalized felt like a significant step forward. “I’ll do my part here, keeping Kairi company and trying to gain access to more of Sora’s memories from wherever he is.”

“I hadn’t doubted that you would.” He gave a half smile. “And I’ll do my part.”

She nodded and bumped his arm. “When you find Sora, you can tease him about still owing me a ‘thank you.’”

A lighthearted laugh escaped from him unexpectedly, and Naminé believed she’d found her new favorite sound. “I guess I beat him to it.”

Naminé couldn’t help from giggling herself, despite the pain in her chest. “Speaking of Sora,” she continued, “I sat with Kairi this morning and received a new vision of where Sora is.”

His steps faltered. “Really? That’s great!” The way she could brighten his face with good news made her heart flutter. 

“It wasn’t alot, really, just a shop window with a paopu fruit inside.” If she hadn’t left her sketchbook behind, she would’ve shown him her drawing. “I...suspect he was thinking about Kairi, which triggered my vision when I was with her.”

“That’s still good news. It means he still remembers Kairi, which means he hopefully still remembers everyone else too.”

“I hope so,” she smiled. Her hand ran along the high garden walls as she walked, watching the shadows grow longer with the setting sun. Eventually she brought herself to a stop as the pain in her lungs began to worsen. Riku turned toward her and eyed her curiously. It was now or never. “Riku, do you...do you think he loves her?”

Riku answered quickly and confidently. “Without a doubt. It’s what keeps bringing them back to one another time and time again.”

She hummed in understanding. Of course, even as a Nobody, she’d witnessed Sora’s love for Kairi in his most precious memories of her. Though Naminé had been just a bystander, she could never shake the feeling that she’d been intruding on special moments while piecing his memories back together.

“Have you ever wondered what it’s like?” She folded her hands in front of her chest. “To love someone like that?”

Riku seemed surprised by her question. “Hard to say.” He scratched his head. “I’ve always been so focussed on the tasks at hand, making up for my mistakes and looking after everyone else. I guess I never got the chance to think about it.”

She looked up at him, wondering—no, wishing—that her name had come to his mind just then, even if just for a moment. Memories, not thoughts, were her specialty. His eyes found hers after a moment of silence, and she tried to tell him everything she wanted to with just her gaze. 

_ I could be that for you. _

_ Let me be your ground. _

_ You are already mine. _

“Naminé?” he asked. “Are you alright?”

“Riku, I…” The temptation to look away overcame her, but she forced herself to focus deep into his aquamarine eyes, “I love you.”

“What?-” His eyebrows furrowed like he couldn’t understand the words that had just come out of her mouth. She herself felt like she’d spoken a whole other language. “I just, um.” His head tilted to the side ever-so slightly, his mouth agape. “I-I don’t know what to say.”

He didn’t have to, because while Naminé read every twitch in his expression, she registered what wasn’t present: namely, a smile on his lips, a spark in his eye, a hitch in his breath. None of what was supposed to take place during a love confession had happened. A lump formed in her chest, and she could already feel the invasive petals threatening to bloom in her throat again.

He didn’t love her back.

It became clear that she’d chosen her confession poorly. Only then did she see how truly selfish it was. He’d  _ just _ said that his task of rescuing Sora came first. Sora and Kairi needed him more than she did, yet she decided to demand more of him and put another emotional weight onto his shoulders. Panic joined the sting in her chest. There was no going back from this. She could never face him again, never have these little moments together. He’d likely leave and never return.

Unless…

The discovery from earlier that day, about her expanded powers, tugged at the back of her mind. She hadn’t touched her powers to alter memories since she’d been forced to do so to Sora. That had taken a whole year to fix, in no small part due to how many memories she’d changed and how many people had been affected. Each additional person with their own memories doubled the amount of connections she’d had to restore. 

But here it was just herself, Riku, and one single memory. Closing her eyes, the link was already within reach to her, the single moment when she’d uttered those three words. The chain following after it was short for now, simple to replicate and morph to complement a false memory. If she wanted, it would be so easy to just reach into his mind and…

Already, her eyes burned with tears as she twisted the knife in his memories, shattering the single link and replacing it with her own:

_ “Riku, I...I’m just feeling a little sick, that’s all.” _

She’d never have guessed that the wrong hands into which to trust her powers would be her very own.

A second mistake to fix her first, and with it, a whole new sickness filled her stomach. She was no better than the ones who’d held her captive. No better than the man she still refused to confront.

When her mind returned to the moment, she couldn’t bring herself to hide her own disdain. Tears of self-punishment threatened to break from her eyes, and the ever-growing blooms prickled the base of her throat. 

With the fake memory now in place, Riku’s expression shifted from overwhelming confusion to one of concern. “Are you sure?” he asked. “You don’t look just a little sick.”

Of course he couldn’t love her. She didn’t deserve him. She barely deserved the few emotions she’d managed to recognize and get under control. 

“Yes, I’m fine. Have a safe trip,” she jabbed and turned to leave. His calls after her went ignored as she put as much distance between them as possible. Hedges, flower beds, cobblestone, and fountains of the maze-like garden flew past her unnoticed. Their smells only reminded her of what was to come. She tripped along the path, now darkened without the warm sunlight, but kept moving.

Of course he didn’t give chase, because he didn’t love her.

She managed to make it back to her room before succumbing to the burning in her throat. The pain merely from coughing sent her to her knees, and when she opened her eyes, a whole flower lay on the floor in front of her, watered by salty tears. A daffodil, white and yellow.

_ I took the risk, then backed out like a coward. I might as well accept the inevitable. _

_ This is my punishment _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, and for all of the lovely comments! 
> 
> I promise there's a happy ending to all of this angst. I hope you all are having a wonderful holiday season!


	6. Chapter 6

Naminé didn't know when sleep took her during the night, but two sensations awoke her the next morning: a gentle knock at her door, and the strong scent of flowers. Whole daffodils lay on her pillow, still moist with tears, but it helped awaken her more quickly.

She was about to ask who knocked, but the voice that came in answered that question.

"Naminé? I don't know if you're in there. I just...I wanted to say goodbye before I left."

The entire previous night felt like a horrible dream, but one look at her hands brought back the vivid memory of what she'd done. The sorrow in Riku's voice only made her heart sink further.

He didn't wait for a response before continuing. "Things didn't end well yesterday, I think, and...if I said anything to upset you, please just tell me."

She couldn't bring herself to speak even if she wanted to. With the hurt in his voice, it was as if he still felt the pain of the true memory she'd replaced yesterday.

A soft thud came from the other side of her door, as if he'd leaned against it. "Listen, I...I don't want to leave with things like this between us. I can't abandon our search for Sora, but I also can't ignore what's going on with you. No matter how hard you try to hide it."

Naminé shot up in her bed, though still silent. Could he know, or actually remember? Did Aerith tell him? Naminé had never told the healer that her feelings were for Riku.

"I know you're more sick than you let on, and that it's getting worse. I don't want to leave and find out that you-" he stopped and sighed heavily.

So he'd seen past her attempts at a healthy exterior, but still didn't know everything. Naminé approached her door and placed her hand against the wood. None of this was his fault, yet he still blamed himself. For her distance, her pain, her sickness. She wished she could tell him all over again everything she had before, taking none of it back this time.

But she already knew how he'd respond.

"So you are in there," he said lowly, and Naminé realized she'd given up on breathing and moving slowly. "You don't have to respond, but know that I...I appreciate everything you've done for me. And I'm sorry." The warmth from the other side of her door retreated, and his voice came in farther away, louder, more confident, like he was speaking to a room of strangers instead of to her. "You know how to reach me if you want. Bye, Naminé."

Soon his footsteps fell away as well. Only when the silence of the morning returned did she respond. "Bye...Riku."

If anything could bring her out of her bed, it was Kairi and the promise Naminé had made to her. She had to prove to herself that she could atleast keep one of her promises, so she cleaned herself off, changed into new clothes, and made her way to her daily visit with the ever-slumbering Princess of Heart. During the walk there, she wondered if she'd be able to connect with Kairi so vulnerably after what she'd done to Riku, one of Kairi's closest friends.

She found her answer in each passing minute sitting with Kairi, no visions or memories. Even when Naminé reached out to touch Kairi's hand, she couldn't feel the same presence as before. The worst part was, Naminé didn't know whether Kairi's heart had retreated from hers, or the other way around. Kairi had always been in tune with the hearts of those around her, able to tell when someone was hurting. Maybe Naminé had done it all to herself.

Or maybe misusing her powers had caused her to lose touch with her own heart.

Naminé pulled her hand back. "Kairi, I have another confession to make. I did something horrible, to someone we both care about, and I don't know if I can ever go back."

Of course, the girl was quiet, but usually Naminé could atleast feel her presence, her heart, and although she wore a soft smile upon her face, Naminé felt none of the usual warmth. She leaned forward and rested her face within her hands.

"I've ruined everything. I don't know if I can even help find Sora anymore, so I suppose I've failed him too."

Atleast alone with Kairi, Naminé didn't have to try as hard to mask her emotions or affliction. What would Kairi say to Naminé at a time like this? She wasn't the type to be unnecessarily harsh, yet she wouldn't excuse her friends' actions either. She'd probably say something like:

_Self-pity is unlike you, Naminé. You've made amends in the past, you can do it again._

It was different now. Naminé hadn't been forced to alter someone's memories. This time, she'd made the _choice_ and could no longer claim to be a victim.

Knowing that continued attempts to reach Kairi and Sora would only yield more frustration, Naminé gave Kairi's hand one last gentle squeeze, promised to come back the next day, and departed.

She tried to enjoy Radiant Garden, but even the array of flowers on every corner couldn't pull her mind from its despair. They only reminded her of the very ones growing within her lungs. Similarly, the flowers in the town square emphasized who was absent, for as resilient as they were, they'd been blown outward with each of the gummi ship's arrivals and departures.

If only she had the power to reverse time, she'd go back and never use her powers against the man she loved. She'd face him and his rejection head on, and accept it for what it was. Maybe then she could've forced the Hanahaki to die herself, convinced that a life of friendship with Riku was worth the sacrifice.

But now she knew she couldn't. Try as she might to get him off of her mind, the pain within her throat only grew.

So she continued her days as normal. The Hanahaki grew slower without Riku's presence, but the inevitable would still happen in time.

A knock came to her door one morning. Until then, her retreat from the others had gone unchallenged, so she tensed, anticipating prying questions or demands for her presence.

Ienzo spoke with suppressed concern. "Naminé, if you would please come to the courtyard, there's someone here for you."

Her heart both leapt and broke at the same time, and she froze indecisively between hiding further under her covers and jumping to her feet. Of course, Riku came to her mind first, along with the possibility that he'd completed his mission and returned to hear Naminé out, but she knew that was too good to be true.

So then, who else would come to see her?

The colorful group of four who greeted her outside the castle answered her question. This time, Xion was the first to bound towards Naminé, wrapping her in a hug.

"Naminé!" she beamed with her soft voice. "It's so good to see you again!"

A part of Naminé wanted to simply retreat back into her room. Already overwhelmed with emotions, she didn't feel worthy of being on the receiving end of their warm greeting smiles. Even Isa, who had previously averted from any emotional expression, stood with a half-smile behind Axel.

But she couldn't deny that, for a moment, the pain in both her heart and her throat subsided as Roxas and Axel joined the group hug again.

Her face scrunched, and she buried herself in the embrace of her friends. "You guys," she mumbled, "I was supposed to go to you. How did you…?"

"Ah-ah, that's our secret." Axel wagged his finger. "We're here to have fun with you. That's final."

"Yeah, Twilight Town or here, doesn't matter," Roxas said.

"Maybe one day, Isa will finally join in on the group hug." Xion nodded towards the man who still stood with his arms crossed.

"Maybe," he said, before turning his gaze away and taking in the town. "I admit, it is...nice to see our old home again."

Naminé smiled, but try as she might, guilt and despair still weighed heavily on her heart. Tears wanted to escape, but she kept them at bay. Her friends had been kind enough to travel, somehow, all this way to see her. The least she could do was show them kindness in return.

"How about this," Naminé began. "Axel and Isa show us all of their old favorite spots in town, then I show you all of mine."

Axel snapped his fingers. "Now we're talking! Then at the end of the day, Roxas and Xion can decide whose spots they like better!"

Naminé giggled. "Well...I doubt I'd stand a chance. I didn't grow up here."

Isa nodded to Axel. "With his taste, you're probably winning already."

Axel grumbled while the quiet man's remarks won a teasing giggle from the rest.

Radiant Garden had grown and changed since its restoration. Many shops stood in the same place as before, but now with new wares and owners. Axel led them to a climbable portion of the town's wall, which rewarded its explorers with a breathtaking canyon view. Naminé could sense a time in which the deep stone maws were clouded in Darkness, but now only blue stone crags and gullies greeted them.

Maybe one day she'd explore more outside the walls.

As cliche as it was, Naminé led them through her favorite stretch of the garden. However, the peace and sereneness of the area had become shrouded in what had occurred the night before. Even as Lea and Isa commented on how much had changed, and how they used to sneak into the castle through a nearby tunnel system, she couldn't get the ghost of Riku's form out of her mind. She swore she could still see him standing where they had, or half-expected him to emerge from around a corner again. A sudden spike of pain hit her throat.

Their stay in the garden didn't last long.

Next, Axel took them to an old alleyway where he'd practiced with his first "chakrams". There wasn't much to the place, but Axel said himself, the memories were what made it special. That seemed to be the theme around Axel and Isa's favorite spots - seemingly insignificant places with heavy memories attached to them. Naminé couldn't blame them at all, for she'd have done the same.

Then, she took them to her favorite cafe, which apparently used to be a skate shop.

A visit to Kairi was in order as well. Though the air weighed heavily with the looming task of rescuing Sora, there was still a sense of ease. Naminé avoided mentioning how distant Kairi's heart had felt lately.

Everyone offered words of encouragement to Kairi, even if she couldn't respond. Roxas and Xion, already used to speaking to unresponsive sleeping friends, slipped comfortably into conversation, as if nothing had changed. Axel wished her safety, reiterating how far they'd come after their training. Even Isa offered a brief apology.

Her friends, unfortunately, could only stay for the day, so at their request, they capped the evening in the town center, sitting around the fountain.

"I know how to make this day even better," Axel said.

Naminé tilted her head, but it didn't take long for her to remember the tradition among them. "Radiant Garden sells sea-salt ice cream?"

Axel playfully scoffed. "Of course they do!" Swiftly, he stood and looked down each intersecting road, re-mapping the town out in his head.

Roxas stood with him. "Show us for next time."

"I'll come too!" Xion jumped. She turned to Naminé, but was only met with a small head shake.

"My feet need a break," Naminé giggled and kicked her feet out. "Walking in these sandals all day takes its toll."

Roxas pouted but gave no argument, and soon they departed down the darkening street.

For a moment, Naminé believed herself to be alone, forgetting about the new silent fourth member of their group until he spoke.

"Naminé."

Hearing Isa speak her name felt strange, but she still turned to meet him with a gentle smile. "Isa, I almost forgot you-"

"Something's wrong, isn't it?" he interrupted her. She fell silent, embarrassed that she'd failed to hide her despair from even him. "You're looking guilty," he continued.

She turned and placed her hands in her lap, folding them on top of one another several times. In her silence, the man sat on the fountain, far away enough to give her space while still being able to speak quietly.

"Am I that obvious?" she asked.

"It's easy to recognize a look you've worn yourself. It...surprised me to see it on you."

She smiled and ducked her head. Of course it made sense for him to notice emotions he himself had felt - or probably still felt. The way Roxas and Xion had been interacting with him lately had been a drastic improvement from her first encounter with them on the gummi ship. That, along with the fact that he'd voluntarily started a conversation with Naminé meant that he'd been making progress.

"I did something pretty horrible not too long ago," she said, "and I haven't been able to make amends."

"I see." His feet tapped the ground, still facing straight ahead instead of towards her. She couldn't tell what he was thinking.

His silence felt strange. He made no move to leave, yet offered no advice, encouragement, nor judgment. Finally, she turned to see his gaze fixed on the ground.

"Why do you bring it up?" she asked, scooting closer on the fountain.

"I don't quite know," he said. "Something seemed wrong. You were bottling it up and putting on a happy face for Roxas and Xion, so I figured...maybe talking with someone who's less important might help."

"Isa," she sighed, "you're not-"

"It's okay that I am, I understand." He raised his head and faced her. "But I know what it's like to let the guilt cripple you."

She recalled his expression when Axel had first re-introduced him as 'Isa' to her. He'd expected her to hate him, but while his reputation had been well known within the Organization, Naminé knew that it hadn't been her place to judge or forgive him.

"How do you do it?" she asked. "How do you even begin to make things right? The person I hurt doesn't even know that I hurt them."

"You may have just answered your own question. How can you ask for forgiveness if they don't know what they're forgiving?" His response silenced her once more. It felt strange opening up to someone she barely knew, yet so easy at the same time. He continued, "But there's only so much confessing can do. Forgiveness ultimately lies with the ones you hurt." He glanced down and relaxed his hands on his lap. "In my case, I was lucky. I was sure Roxas and Xion would reject me, and I planned to be alone if I regained my heart. But Lea brought me back. He took on the discomfort, the inevitable conflict. I'd hurt him too, and he made himself the bridge between his old and new life - between me and them. And they...forgave me too, in time."

Naminé didn't miss Isa's use of Axel's old name.

"And I'm no expert in matters of the heart, but I know that there's little you could do that would make Riku turn away from you forever."

Naminé's attention snapped to him, for she was sure that she hadn't mentioned Riku once that day. Atleast, she thought she hadn't. "How did you…?"

"It's not hard to see."

She hummed in understanding, somewhat grateful that someone had pieced it together without her. He was right. No matter how much time she had left, the least she could do was make things right.

"I have to find him before it's too late," she said, "but I don't know where to begin. I don't have a way to get to him."

Isa glanced up to the large, decorated gates just ahead. "There are many magical items within that castle. I'm sure the master is aware that he owes you a great debt."

Naminé's heart sank. She'd lived in Radiant Garden for months now, yet she hadn't come face to face with the man who resided within its castle since awakening. Surely it was too late, or he'd completely forgotten that she lived there too. He had his duties, his own catching up and amending to do, after all.

Then again, perhaps he considered her one of those whom he needed to make amends with. How ironic that they both were now avoiding those whom they'd hurt.

She looked to Isa and nodded. "Thank you, Isa. I needed someone to pull me out of...whatever this is."

"I'm merely pointing it out. It's up to you what you do from here."

The scene that Axel, Roxas, and Xion returned to differed greatly from the one they'd left, and it became obvious to them quickly.

"Naminé, what's wrong?" Xion asked.

Roxas gave Isa a narrow stare. "Did he say something to upset you?"

Naminé saw the panic cross Axel's face, and quickly intervened. "No, no! He actually gave me some really good advice." Isa remained silent, despite every other eye turning to him with surprise. She continued, "I need to confront Ansem the Wise."

"About what?" Xion asked innocently. Roxas and Axel's shoulders fell.

"You mean you haven't…?" Roxas began to ask, and she merely nodded.

"Well, no wonder you seemed so down," Axel said and, without warning, plopped a stick of ice cream into her hands. "You're living in the man's castle with all that pent-up emotion stirring inside you."

Xion sat beside her and took her free hand. "And Riku left too. That had to be hard, I imagine."

Naminé wanted to cry - needed to - but though they were right, they were missing the crucial piece that Isa had begun to solve. She'd pushed Riku away, and likely wouldn't see him again. She didn't deserve the comfort they offered, and as she thought more of the Keyblade master, it took all of her strength to keep her sickness at bay.

Roxas sat on her other side. "We can come with you if you want."

She smiled at the gesture. "That's alright. This is something I have to do on my own. Tonight, I'd rather just enjoy your company."

He returned a gentle smile of his own, and Xion gave her hand a squeeze.

Axel raised his ice cream in the air as a toast. "Then enjoy each other's company we shall!"

They never did vote on whose "favorite spots" were the best.

* * *

The next day, the hallway leading to Ansem's study deep within the castle felt endless. When she finally turned the right corner, it was as if every step forward also stretched the walls and carpet that were unique to this corridor while the door remained fixed to a singular unreachable pinpoint.

Naminé wished she'd done this earlier for many reasons. Firstly, she wouldn't have felt as cowardly for facing him so late. Secondly, she wouldn't have to ask him for help at the same time. Lastly, Riku would've been here with her, providing her with both emotional support and a shield to hide behind. Now, she was alone, carrying a guilty burden of her own.

Eventually the hallway ended, and Naminé came face to face with the large door. Light flowed onto her feet from the space beneath it, yet no sound came through. If he was inside, he was still, perhaps enraptured with a book or lost in thought. Her shaking hand felt tethered to her body, so reaching for the handle took more strength than normal. When her fingers grazed the it, cold and unused for some time, she inhaled and repeated the words that had brought her comfort from the beginning.

_You're safe._

_He won't hurt you._

Without further hesitation, she turned the knob and pushed the door open. Her prior hesitation made up for itself in how swiftly it all happened, and the man sitting at his desk snapped up with a startle. When recognition crossed his face, however, he did not relax back into his chair, but froze with his mouth open.

It was then she realized something.

_I forgot to knock._

"Naminé," his voice pitched upward in surprise.

Her swift unannounced entrance may have come across as aggressive, but she resisted the habit to drop her shoulders and make herself smaller. "May I come in?"

For a moment, he just stared at her before stepping in front of his desk. "Of course." To see the man she remembered as so stoic and hard-set be taken aback by her in surprise was strange, to say the least. Maybe he really had experienced a significant change of heart, or maybe it had just been the Realm of Darkness that had changed him.

She took a deep breath and stepped inside.

"I must admit...I never expected you to visit me here," he spoke before she could offer a polite 'thank you'.

She managed a smile through her panic and nodded. "Me too. I worried I'd waited too long."

Likewise, a nervous smile finally appeared on his face. "Ah, it is never too late. I suppose I am the cowardly one here, hiding away."

_You're not the only one_ , she thought before hesitating on the door. "Open or closed?"

"Whatever you like."

Whatever she liked? On one side, a part of her really didn't want to be alone with the man in the small room. On the other side, the thought of someone walking in on a vulnerable moment sounded just as terrifying. Slowly, she swung the door shut.

His study was surprisingly warm and welcoming, with pastel colors lining the walls, trim, and carpet. A modestly-sized desk for a master was tucked into one side of the circular room, leaving more space for bookshelves, chalkboards, and what Naminé could only describe as knick-knacks. Her mind told her that there should've been cylindrical containers with floating hearts inside, yet those were absent.

"You've done the hard part." His voice pulled her attention back to him. "May I start?"

Naminé leaned against the door with her hands behind her back, and nodded.

"I'm sorry I've hurt you, Naminé," he said. "I know I've spoken of you and Roxas together at once, but I've hurt you both differently, thus you deserve different apologies."

She nodded again, knowing that he'd already had a conversation with Roxas. Many people had hurt them both, but Ansem was right that they'd each been used differently.

He continued. "I let my hatred and drive for revenge blind me. Blind me to your existence, to your humanity. I used you like an instrument in my quest for revenge, but I was wrong about everything. I was wrong about my apprentices, about Nobodies, about you."

"Sora's memories needed restoring," she said.

"And they still would've been without my interference. If Roxas had been acknowledged as a person from the beginning by someone like you, perhaps he would have agreed to help sooner. Instead I...no, no this is about you." He shook his head and stood taller, if that had even been possible. "I misused you the entire time you worked with me. You deserved none of it, and I'm grateful everyday that Riku disobeyed me and spared you."

"Me too," she said. "I felt horrible repeating what had been said to me, to Roxas. I thought I'd escaped my prison in the Organization, but in a way, that white room felt like just another cell."

Ansem stood silently as Naminé went on, though from his gaze she knew he was still paying attention. She figured she should cease reliving her pain.

"But despite all of that, Ansem," she folded her hands and lifted her head to face him fully. "I forgive you."

A pained look crossed his face, though his shoulders relaxed as he let out a breath. "You do?"

"Yes. The pain and the memories may never leave, but I've learned that hearts aren't good for holding resentment for very long." She allowed herself to truly, fully relax for the first time in the room. "You've apologized, and you've shown your capacity to change. I suppose I can see why they call you 'The Wise.'"

He chuckled lightly. "I have seldom lived up to that name, even in my prime."

He had changed. The tone of his voice had calmed, and the tension in his face had softened. His gaze was much more present, no longer focussed on some unreachable objective.

"There's one more thing," she added. "I now know what it is like to take your pain and your fear, and use it to hurt others." She did her best to fight away the tears prickling at her eyes. "I used to think I was immune to that, that only truly evil people could succumb to that temptation, yet I gave into it so easily."

His head tilted to the side, confused at her sudden shift in conversation. "You speak of the distance you've put between yourself and everyone else recently."

She startled but kept her gaze low, wondering how he could possibly have noticed her change in demeanor. He hadn't worked directly with her at all, and if he knew, then that meant that everyone else probably did as well. "Is it that obvious?"

He leaned back against his desk, seemingly much more comfortable speaking with her now. "One of my apprentices came to me a few days ago and expressed worry over your loneliness. He requested that I use my star shard to bring your friends here to visit."

A star shard. So that's how they'd travelled to Radiant Garden. Ansem didn't even have to specify which apprentice, for there was only one who'd worked closely with her since Riku's departure. How very in-character for Ienzo to seek out solutions to her problem before speaking with her about it first. The thought made her giggle lightly.

Ansem chuckled in response. "I hope you're not angry with Ienzo for his actions. He means well."

"No, I-I'm not angry with him at all. Riku did take the only means of other-worldly travel when he-" her voice caught in her throat, suddenly blocked by those cursed flowers,"...when he left."

"Ah," Ansem nodded his head, as if an epiphany had suddenly come over him. "So the Keyblade Master is the cause of your pain?"

"No!" she exclaimed, then backtracked. What Ansem had said was partially true, but Riku hadn't hurt her. "Well, yes and no."

"I see," the man said. "For all my studying of the heart, I'm afraid that matters of...affection are a bit beyond me."

For the second time, Naminé found herself pouring herself out in front of someone she'd least expected to. She'd approached Ansem's office shaking and unable to find any words, and now here she was, speaking freely about her predicament. Should she tell him everything, or just what she'd done?

"I did...something bad." The moment the words spilled from her lips, so did tears from her eyes.

Now, the man's relaxed demeanor shifted. He stepped forward and reached his hands out before hesitating. "Oh..."

"I changed his memories, and he doesn't even know," she choked and knew that flowers would demand to spring forth and join her tears. Riku didn't even have to be present anymore, just speaking about him summoned her affliction.

Understanding crossed Ansem's face, as he was well familiar with her powers. "I see…"

Would he hate her too, reverting his treatment of her to apathetic once again? She closed her eyes and gripped her arms. Then the coughing started, and she had to cover her mouth. If Ansem would be the first to learn everything, she'd feel like a hypocrite for facing his earnest apology only minutes ago.

She startled when she felt hands touch her shoulders. Ansem had knelt in front of her, regarding her with a sorrow she hadn't seen in him since his confrontation in the Organization's stronghold. Being caught off guard caused her to drop her focus on hiding her sickness, and a flower fell from her hand. Where his office carpet was once spotless, there was now a daffodil and a red stain of blood.

"Oh my," he gasped, but didn't recoil in disgust. "I haven't seen this in a very long time." His grip on her shoulders tightened, and he shook her to get her attention. "Naminé, you must tell me now. Is Riku your…?"

He didn't need to finish the question, for she simply nodded.

"And you told no one?"

"I...I came to Aerith when I first started seeing these." She held up a single petal. "She knows but thinks her medicine is still keeping it at bay until I...act on it."

"And now Riku is gone for the foreseeable future!" The man raised his voice with worry for the first time, which caused Naminé to flinch. He took a deep breath and hung his head. "I apologize, but for your own life, you need to-"

"I did," she interrupted. "I did, and he didn't respond like I'd expected. He looked...confused and lost. That's why I panicked and..."

"My dear, after spending an entire year with the man, I thought you'd have known how stilted he can be when expressing himself."

"I want to find him." She shook as she spoke. "To tell him what I did and ask for his forgiveness, but it's too late anyways. He's far away, and he's not coming back anytime soon."

"I told you in the beginning that It's never too late." He stood abruptly and made his way to a tall shelf behind his desk. "And if you still believe that, you shouldn't wait a moment longer."

Various books, bottles, and certifications flew carelessly from the shelf before Ansem retrieved a box. A bright light filled the already-illuminated room when he opened it. "I'll remind you how I got your friends here so quickly."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and commenting! The last chapter was pretty heavy, so I tried to give our girl some of the love she deserves in this one. There's one more chapter left, so I hope you all are enjoying :)
> 
> Rams on Twitter made some lovely [art](https://twitter.com/reflera/status/1349187116002127875?s=20) based on this fic that made me explode with happiness into a pile of glitter! Her Rikunami art is so tender and so _them_ , so go show her art some love if you can <3
> 
> Alternative chapter title: Dusky's Agenda to Make Naminé Befriend Every Kingdom Hearts Character Ever


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